Today, my drinking problem became apparent when my daughter asked for a glass of juice, and I instinctively poured a large glass of scotch instead. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my wife, who has a drinking problem, looked me straight in the eye as she poured herself a "water" bottle to enjoy while at work. FML
Today, I caught my dad sneaking a drink of whiskey outside, shortly before my wedding. I asked if he was seriously getting drunk at a time like this. He looked at me and scoffed, "It's the only way I'm gonna get through this stupid shit." FML
Today, I had my first glass of red wine after months of pregnancy and giving birth. Just as I sat down and started to relax, I spilled it all over myself and my in-law’s couch. FML
Today, I accidentally threw a glass of iced tea in my own face, because the restaurant I'd been going to for over a decade switched from heavy glass mugs to identical light-as-a-feather plastic mugs. FML
Today, I horribly lost a game of basketball against my dad. It wouldn't have been so humiliating if he hadn't been piss drunk at the time. FML
Today, I thought it would be a good idea to sneak out of work early and pay a little visit to the pub. I ended up staggering home, drunkenly making myself a nacho cheese dorito milkshake with the blender, then promptly puked my guts out all over the kitchen table. FML
Today, I chipped my tooth on a beer bottle. While I was drinking alone in my basement. FML
Today, I realized that my 3 year-old son, who is being potty trained, has better aim standing up to pee than his 30 year-old father. FML
Today, my dad asked me if I'd started smoking, I gave him a big speech about how I never have and never will. Two hours later, he found my stash of cigarettes under my bed. FML
Today, I woke up with a vicious hangover. It wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't woken up to dozens of cans strewn all over the floor. I don't remember buying half the store's supply of pork and beans. FML
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Top comments
marulicko 19
Ok, definitely time to get help...
ruckfules85 34
Really good you caught your mistake instead of giving it to her.
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Comments (89)
sweetsammiedee 16
Yikes, get help bro :(
appletreee 30
The first step is admitting you have a problem.
fml510605 16
I'm hoping that she didn't drink that:/
thisguy0910 5
You should probably get that fixed
hegchog12 18
Scotch : a man's apple juice
gemmlynn 6
I once drank some box- wine when I was little cause I thought it was grape juice
JayVicious 20
my grandmother once drank grape juice and got drunk cause she thought it was wine.
iwadasn 33
There's no way you don't deserve this.
LyricaSilvan 30
Is anyone else suddenly worried about the little girl in that house?
militarybrat 21
Extremely so.
petitealien 1
Don Draper?
silverstream20 20
The first phase is always admitting you have a problem. OP, now that you acknowledge the problem it is time to seek help and intervention. Best of luck.