Today, my drinking problem became apparent when my daughter asked for a glass of juice, and I instinctively poured a large glass of scotch instead. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my wife, who has a drinking problem, looked me straight in the eye as she poured herself a "water" bottle to enjoy while at work. FML
Today, I caught my dad sneaking a drink of whiskey outside, shortly before my wedding. I asked if he was seriously getting drunk at a time like this. He looked at me and scoffed, "It's the only way I'm gonna get through this stupid shit." FML
Today, I had my first glass of red wine after months of pregnancy and giving birth. Just as I sat down and started to relax, I spilled it all over myself and my in-law’s couch. FML
Today, I accidentally threw a glass of iced tea in my own face, because the restaurant I'd been going to for over a decade switched from heavy glass mugs to identical light-as-a-feather plastic mugs. FML
Today, I horribly lost a game of basketball against my dad. It wouldn't have been so humiliating if he hadn't been piss drunk at the time. FML
Today, I thought it would be a good idea to sneak out of work early and pay a little visit to the pub. I ended up staggering home, drunkenly making myself a nacho cheese dorito milkshake with the blender, then promptly puked my guts out all over the kitchen table. FML
Today, I chipped my tooth on a beer bottle. While I was drinking alone in my basement. FML
Today, I realized that my 3 year-old son, who is being potty trained, has better aim standing up to pee than his 30 year-old father. FML
Today, my dad asked me if I'd started smoking, I gave him a big speech about how I never have and never will. Two hours later, he found my stash of cigarettes under my bed. FML
Today, I woke up with a vicious hangover. It wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't woken up to dozens of cans strewn all over the floor. I don't remember buying half the store's supply of pork and beans. FML
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Top comments
marulicko 19
Ok, definitely time to get help...
ruckfules85 34
Really good you caught your mistake instead of giving it to her.
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Comments (89)
tranced_ 45
bad influence on your daughter!
buckdharma 38
Careful op, or you could wind up in jail drinking potato hooch. :(
bearstyle22 11
Muscle memory?
MisterGasMoney 16
Get help, OP. I wish you the best.
150493x 29
At least you have now realised you have a problem. Even though we don't know the history behind it, knowing you have a problem is half the battle as many people completely deny they need help at all.
chosha_fml 27
Does she take hers neat or on the rocks?
vikky538 29
call now and get help before its too late...
gearhead369 20
Smells a little bit fake in here.... Anyone else smell that?
laden_swallow09 35
Nope. Vegetables just make me gassy. Sorry.
corleon198425 22
as an alcoholic in recovery it's a tough road. I've slipped A few times but have got back in sobriety. try AA it is a God send, best of lUck
MRSwick2525 23
Please seek help!! My sister just passed away two weeks ago due to her drinking problems. Its not pretty to watch a loved one go through liver and kidney failure at 41yrs of age. It is slow and painful. Please get the help that you need, for you and your child's sake.