Today, when done feeding my newborn, I stated to my husband that I'm a cow. He said, in a sincere tone, "Oh, baby, you'll lose the weight soon." I meant cow because I'm producing so much milk. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I am six months pregnant and have been lactating. When I noticed this and pointed it out to my husband, I jokingly stated that I felt like a cow. He then replied. "Oh, you're not a cow. At most you're just a fat pig." He still has no clue why I'm upset. FML
Today, when my mother-in-law told me I was losing weight, my husband started laughing. FML
Today, a customer greeted me with, "So! When's the baby coming!?" I'm NOT pregnant. I just gain weight in my guts. FML
Today, I was taking my 3 month-old nephew for a walk in his stroller, when a lady stopped me to coo over him. Then she patted my stomach and said, "Don't worry, you'll lose the baby weight soon." I've never had a baby. FML
Today, I was teaching my one year-old some new words. He pointed to the picture of a pig and said, "Mama". Guess I better start that diet. FML
Today, I caught my pregnant wife trying to suck milk from her breasts. FML
Today, in the middle of the store, my daughter pointed at my belly and loudly announced that she was going to have a brother. I'm a man, and apparently I need to lose weight. FML
Today, my 4 year old son told his preschool teacher that his daddy could pick up 10,000 cows but couldn't pick up his mommy because she was too heavy. I'm the mommy. FML
Today, I went to the store to get groceries. After getting all the stuff I need, and was heading towards the checkout point, I heard a baby cry and instantly felt coldness on my shirt. Yes I was lactating, and yes it was noticeable. FML
Today, we ran out of milk and my 4 year-old son came up to me and asked if he could "milk" my wife's breasts for his cereal. Apparently, he thinks my wife doesn't love him and his sister is selfish for not sharing her milk. His sister is only one month old. FML
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Top comments
strawberry_78 0
Ah, I could understand his mistake, double meaning! You said it!!!
umlautasaur 0
I don't see how this is an FML. You have baby weight. Your husband isn't making a huge deal of it. BTW, "cow" is usually synonymous with being overweight. All mammals breastfeed.
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Comments (152)
paperfox_fml 0
How the **** is that tactless, #30? I'd like to see you do better.
Nakedsquirrel 5
What's with all the shitty FMLs today? The guy didn't even insult you, and you're the one that opened yourself up for one. Stop being pathetic.
UGADawg08 1
Maybe if you let him drink some of it, he'll stop being so critical. #30: Women are oversensitive bitches.
ohhhhshizzz 0
Why does everyone assume the OP took it badly, not everything on FML is saying they took it badly. Just a burn moment, funny, then heyyyyy I should put this on FML thought. And look, its on here.
manderina 0
i suppose this is what happens when you dig for compliments? in response i would have said, "perhaps i will, but when will you lose your extra weight?" but i guess that depends on whether or not he is fat.
that_was_so_awkw 0
I said that to my aunt. She wasn't impressed. Oh wells. He was trying to make you feel better, I think. maybe. :]
losergirl 0
Well... at least he tried XD
Some___Guy 0
What kind of woman gains weight during pregnancy? How dare he!?
greeneye_fml 12
You have baby weight. Simple as that. And what did you think he would infer you meant by cow? YDI
SiLveRStaRLIGHT 0
At least he was trying.