Today, I met a really hot guy at a bar. We talked for a while and really seemed to hit it off. We ended up going to my apartment. He stopped and said, "Clean up this mess and maybe we could do something another time." I am a complete neat freak - my apartment had been robbed and trashed. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I met a really attractive guy outside of a club. We came back to my apartment and had sex. Afterward, we both fell asleep. I woke up and found 20 dollars on my nightstand that wasn't there before. He thought I was a prostitute, and apparently a cheap one. FML
Today, I met a hot guy at the bar and we hit it off instantly. After a few drinks, he called a cab for us. When it arrived, I seducingly asked, "My place or yours?" He responds, "Both. I'll go to mine and you go to yours" and walked away. The cab driver laughed the whole way home. FML
Today, I felt comfortable enough to invite the guy I’ve been seeing over to my apartment for the first time. Things immediately got weird when he started to inspect my place top to bottom to make sure it was “clean to his standards”. I told him to leave when he started going in my closet. FML
Today, I saw an attractive man outside the club I was trying to get into to. We talked, and ended up having sex in my apartment. The next day when I was dropping him off, I discovered he was homeless and was outside the club begging for money. My house is suddenly out of bread and cheese. FML
Today, I was really impressed with the man I've been in a relationship with for over two years. He had finally really cleaned his apartment. Everything was washed and fixed, even my stuff was cleared from open surfaces. All so his lover would not find out about me. FML
Today, I went home with the guy I’ve been casually seeing. His place was a disgusting pigsty so I made an excuse to leave. Later he texted me, ending things. Online I saw him bitching about how no one can pass his “girlfriend test” and that a real woman would happily clean for her man. FML
Today, I finally got to hook up with this hot guy I'd been talking to for a few weeks. To my surprise, he was sinfully drunk when he arrived. As we were going at it, he shat on my white carpet. Now the phrase "f***ing the shit out of someone" has a brand new meaning for me. FML
Today, while walking down the street, a cute guy approached me. We ended up having some drinks then heading back to his place and hooked up. Afterwards, I used the bathroom, and when I came out, he was going through his wallet and asked me how much he owed me. FML
Today, I met a hot guy at the club. We danced and had a really good time, so I invited him home with me for the night. The next morning, I awoke to the sound of what I thought to be running water. I looked up to find him, naked, and pissing into my air conditioner unit. FML
Today, feeling attractive, I got dressed up and took myself to a trendy bar to enjoy some cocktails. A muscular, handsome man approached me and we began to flirt. He recommended that we get a hotel room, which we did. After we had the most amazing sex of my life, he started to tell me his price. He was an escort. FML
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Top comments
JohnFR33M4N 0
cockblocked by a robber. never heard that one before
24788 7
That really sucks, but he should have waited if you were robbed. Not a true guy imo, find someone better.
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Comments (105)
whiterabbit01 0
I'm confused.. If you were robbed wouldn't you be panicking? Therefore the guy would understand and help you out? Its as if you went back to your apartment, just shrugged off the mess and smiled. I wouldve been hysterical if I walked in and saw my apartment like that...
Panime 0
tobusy2chat427 and ebbasaur Grouping humans into a similar personality just because they have something in common (a penis in this case) is beyond moronic on your part. Please open your eyes and realize everyone is their own person and does their own thing based off their own experiences. I can think of tons of situations where I would pass up sex; one of them being having sex with anyone I had just met. And you don't have to be a germaphobe to not enjoy people who keep their belongings scattered across the floor. (I realize the poster isn't like that, but it is what the guy assumed.) And guys and girls both have their dirty ones and clean ones and in between ones. Think before you write something stupid next time.
Funtertaining11 0
I hope you told him what you just said/wrote. (The last clause/sentence.)
brunions 0
Today, I was bored and decided to make up an FML. Everybody knew I was lying and now I'm going to kill myself. FML.
Tsukasa_fml 0
If this idiot was upset enough by your apartment being a mess that he left without even letting you explain you were robbed, he's not that into you.
fmlfmlfml15 0
http://www.whycindywhy.com/?id=n65s7605iyhxnnhif010nl9c6za1g1
rakhil11 7
hmmm, wouldn't u have time 2 explain urself?
ThatsAli3 0
did you explain? either way, you probably had to do police stuff. that sucks.
fmkittw 0
maybe the OP didnt get laid 'cause a box of condoms were stolen from her house??
generals277 0
you're retarded, why didn't you just tell him the situation or go to his place