Today, I met a really hot guy at a bar. We talked for a while and really seemed to hit it off. We ended up going to my apartment. He stopped and said, "Clean up this mess and maybe we could do something another time." I am a complete neat freak - my apartment had been robbed and trashed. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I met a really attractive guy outside of a club. We came back to my apartment and had sex. Afterward, we both fell asleep. I woke up and found 20 dollars on my nightstand that wasn't there before. He thought I was a prostitute, and apparently a cheap one. FML
Today, I met a hot guy at the bar and we hit it off instantly. After a few drinks, he called a cab for us. When it arrived, I seducingly asked, "My place or yours?" He responds, "Both. I'll go to mine and you go to yours" and walked away. The cab driver laughed the whole way home. FML
Today, I felt comfortable enough to invite the guy I’ve been seeing over to my apartment for the first time. Things immediately got weird when he started to inspect my place top to bottom to make sure it was “clean to his standards”. I told him to leave when he started going in my closet. FML
Today, I saw an attractive man outside the club I was trying to get into to. We talked, and ended up having sex in my apartment. The next day when I was dropping him off, I discovered he was homeless and was outside the club begging for money. My house is suddenly out of bread and cheese. FML
Today, I was really impressed with the man I've been in a relationship with for over two years. He had finally really cleaned his apartment. Everything was washed and fixed, even my stuff was cleared from open surfaces. All so his lover would not find out about me. FML
Today, I went home with the guy I’ve been casually seeing. His place was a disgusting pigsty so I made an excuse to leave. Later he texted me, ending things. Online I saw him bitching about how no one can pass his “girlfriend test” and that a real woman would happily clean for her man. FML
Today, I finally got to hook up with this hot guy I'd been talking to for a few weeks. To my surprise, he was sinfully drunk when he arrived. As we were going at it, he shat on my white carpet. Now the phrase "f***ing the shit out of someone" has a brand new meaning for me. FML
Today, while walking down the street, a cute guy approached me. We ended up having some drinks then heading back to his place and hooked up. Afterwards, I used the bathroom, and when I came out, he was going through his wallet and asked me how much he owed me. FML
Today, I met a hot guy at the club. We danced and had a really good time, so I invited him home with me for the night. The next morning, I awoke to the sound of what I thought to be running water. I looked up to find him, naked, and pissing into my air conditioner unit. FML
Today, feeling attractive, I got dressed up and took myself to a trendy bar to enjoy some cocktails. A muscular, handsome man approached me and we began to flirt. He recommended that we get a hotel room, which we did. After we had the most amazing sex of my life, he started to tell me his price. He was an escort. FML
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Top comments
JohnFR33M4N 0
cockblocked by a robber. never heard that one before
24788 7
That really sucks, but he should have waited if you were robbed. Not a true guy imo, find someone better.
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Comments (105)
patray_angel 0
Like others, I would be more upset that my apartment was robbed.
ArmyOfOne 0
FYL for apartment being robbed. Feel for ya. Stop generalizing all guys as horny tards who want sex no matter what. Makes the rest of us look bad.
omnomnom_fml 0
Maybe if he wasn't a complete stranger at a bar he'd care about you and not your apartment. Or be understanding at the very least.
daviedubbs 0
that dude sounds like the biggest **** in the world
bradlb16 0
how much u wanna bet that that was the guy who robbed u
FML7777 0
This is fake, no guy would turn down sex because your house is messy unless he was trying to get away from you. In which case why would he have come to your place in the first place?
oddoneout64 0
they made a twix commercial out of a situation like this!! are you getting royalties? cuz you should. FYL and im sorry this had to happen :(
RatIsKing 0
#86: that's impossible. however, he COULD have been involved...
hardcoreFML 0
cockblocked by a burgerlar
dirkes 0
hes a douche, and i agree with #2