Today, I went to the doctor for a physical. I've been sitting in the doctor's bathroom for 10 minutes now, trying to think of how to tell him I accidentally tripped and spilled my urine sample on the carpet. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had to go to the clinic for a physical. The nurse asked me for a pee sample; however, I had no urine to give. After 20 minutes of standing at the stall I was able to squeeze half a cup of pee. As I approached the sink to cover the sample, I somehow managed to drop it all over myself. FML
Today, I spent two hours trying to catch a urine sample whilst at urgent care due to my inability to pee in public restrooms. I finally managed one, and was so excited by my success that I fumbled it and spilled it on my pants. FML
Today, I had to get a urine analysis done for my doctor. I take medicine that makes me a little shaky sometimes. Guess who spilled their pee all over themselves while trying to put the lid on. FML
Today, I went to get blood and urine tests done before work. As I was attempting to aim into the cup, I lost balance and slipped. I ended up peeing on my sleeves and my pants. I was late for work and I smelled like pee. FML
Today, I dropped my urine sample on my pants. Not only do I now not have a sample, it looks like I pissed myself. FML
Today, I went in for an interview. While I was waiting to be called, I used the restroom. When I stood up to wipe, I slipped on the floor and fell ass first into the unflushed toilet. I was found an hour later, covered in my own shit and too injured to move. FML
Today, I had to take a drug test for a new job. I ended up spilling the cup of piss all over myself. I had to explain what had happened, then go sit in a waiting room full of disgusted-looking people, while I kept drinking water to fill my bladder back up. FML
Today, I had to take a urine test. I drank a lot of water so that I wouldn't force it. When I got there, I had to pee really bad. The cup was too small and when I relieved my bladder, it was a jet that rebounded off of the cup and overflowed going all over my hands, clothes, toilet, and floor. FML
Today, I was holding in pee because i was so busy at work. When I finally got up to relieve myself, I pulled down my pants, sneezed at that exact moment and peed all over the bathroom floor. FML
Today, I was in a public bathroom, when a little boy walked in and he had an 'accident'. He asked if I could help him clean it up, so I decided to help. I started to walk to him to assist him. That's when I walked straight into the pee and slipped. My whole back was covered in pee. FML
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Top comments
that1guy1 13
I would start with that. " I tripped and spilled my urine sample," seems to work well.
SwedishDerp 3
"Here's your urine sample" *hands over carpet*
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Comments (142)
AlbinoBear 0
Maybe a The cup I pissed in fell...
Ohmie 5
Ur-ine trouble...
Yournamehere42 7
A little late there, buddy.
anna15243 6
someone already said that
perdix 31
Tell him Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked it out of your hands. If you can't handle the simple truth, you might as well go for a fantastic lie.
btbamfan75 0
its still cool to make those comments?
silver0jay 11
Apparently the people who liked the comments think it is. And I'm one of them.
perdix 31
#88 In the right hands, it could be. I have Soviet Russia and reverse FMLs in my toolbox, but using them requires keen judgment and a steady hand. When misused, they are a turd in the punchbowl. Trust me, if I ever use them, they will be right.
karmaslave 5
Just tell the doctor. They deal with people's embarrassing bodily issues all the time. Besides, it will be more awkward if someone finds it on their own.
nerdsgetmehot 23
He'll understand; it's not THAT weird. It's not like you spontaneously decided to drink your own urine or take a shower in it. THAT would be something I would be ashamed to tell a doctor.
perdix 31
You do know there are people who do drink their own urine? It has to do with their religion and I am not sure of the significance.
nerdsgetmehot 23
No, I didn't know that. Sadly, Perdix, I'm not a pool of infinite knowledge like you.
SmirkingRevenge_fml 7
Just waiting for a Bear Grylls joke here.
killak41 9
Now watch as I, Bear Grylls fix to drink my own urine
Emoney1 3
OP should have said " I split my pool of infinite knowledge on your carpet."
darkmis1 18
NI think they drink it because it's supposed to help your immune system or something. Kinda like eating boogers.
mondayna 3
Shit again and pretend the spilled crap isn't yours :) problems solved
Awesome_Guy2468 0
your a dumbass
walrusman 0
This has to be one of the stupidest things I have ever read
Jennyboo5797 4
26, urine isn't poo. 50 if you're gonna call someone a dumbass at least spell "You're" right.
meelo88 13
its just pee not murder...just tell the doc you dropped your pee....it's not like he has to personally clean it up...
Googoo27 12
That's gotta piss him off.
shortstuffs23 7
By saying, "I tripped and spilled my urin sample on the carpet.."
shortstuffs23 7
*urine
RHCPLover 0
Why would someone put a carpet in a bathroom....