Today, my boyfriend fingered me. He never cuts his nails. It felt like I was getting intimate with Wolverine. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was getting dirty with my boyfriend. It was the first time he had fingered anyone, and the only thing he said was, "It feels like the inside of my asshole." FML
Today, I was about to have sex with my boyfriend when he reminded me that I needed to cut my toe nails. FML
Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend in bed after a round of amazing sex. He decided it would be a great time to stick his finger up my nose. FML
Today, my boyfriend stuck his finger in my butt and I liked it, but I can’t ever tell him that or he’ll get that smug look on his face like, “I told you so, let’s have anal now.” FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time, and I tried to be sexy by raking my nails down his back. I guess I did it a little too hard, because he shrieked in pain, leapt off me, and limped around the room cursing and whimpering. Mood ruined. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate with each other, starting with some foreplay. Before he fingered me, he put on a blue surgical glove, claiming that "down there is dirty and smelly" and he didn't want it on his hand. FML
Today, I had to take my boyfriend to the emergency room to get stitches from cutting his arm during sex. I sat there while he explained to the doctor how it was the best orgasm ever. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate in an alley. He pushed me up against a wall and started kissing me, but he pushed me so hard I cut open my head and needed 10 stitches. FML
Today, when my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I got a nose bleed. He gave me a shirt to plug it with and kept going. FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my fingers got stuck between the wall and headboard. Screaming, he thought I was enjoying the sex and kept going even harder. I have 3 broken fingers. FML
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Top comments
yellowboy30 0
my nails r cut. let me try
JesseOhNine 0
yuck
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Comments (338)
crowbar_2010 2
well at least youre getting nailed in some sense of the word....hahaha. buy the boy some clippers.
carlosestrada1 4
YDI For planking, that's stupid.
carlosestrada1 4
wrong fml, lol anyways planking is stupid
kurotsuchizombie 0
why do girls have the need to post their sex lives its alittle trashy
5t3ff1k4h 47
It makes a better FML than "wah wah I lost my job".
nikemax22 0
that has happened to me before wit my ex girl she had real long nails ? there is a way to do it without it hurting but sometimes u get caught up in the moment then ya really in pain afta ?
bandits9 0
u should tell him that he can't **** you or finger you untell he cuts them
redmnky21 8
well ur the dumbass who let him stick his fingers in there... and he has no clue what he's doing
tief06 0
why is he your boyfriend if he doesn't cut his nails?? gross.
5t3ff1k4h 47
Because some people are able to look past appearance. Granted, it is disgusting to have nails that long especially if they're going down south, but all it requires is a nice talk (or some rope and a saw) to fix the problem. *Note: The rope is to tie him down, the saw is for the nails, before you sickos get any other ideas.
ReginaFalange_fml 13
You know he doesn't cut them, why would you let him do that to you??
dreawlkr523 0
don't let that happen again- it's not satisfying and it's not healthy.
crossmaltese 3
I have an exboyfriend like that. Note the use of the term "ex".