Today, my boyfriend fingered me. He never cuts his nails. It felt like I was getting intimate with Wolverine. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was getting dirty with my boyfriend. It was the first time he had fingered anyone, and the only thing he said was, "It feels like the inside of my asshole." FML
Today, I was about to have sex with my boyfriend when he reminded me that I needed to cut my toe nails. FML
Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend in bed after a round of amazing sex. He decided it would be a great time to stick his finger up my nose. FML
Today, my boyfriend stuck his finger in my butt and I liked it, but I can’t ever tell him that or he’ll get that smug look on his face like, “I told you so, let’s have anal now.” FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time, and I tried to be sexy by raking my nails down his back. I guess I did it a little too hard, because he shrieked in pain, leapt off me, and limped around the room cursing and whimpering. Mood ruined. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate with each other, starting with some foreplay. Before he fingered me, he put on a blue surgical glove, claiming that "down there is dirty and smelly" and he didn't want it on his hand. FML
Today, I had to take my boyfriend to the emergency room to get stitches from cutting his arm during sex. I sat there while he explained to the doctor how it was the best orgasm ever. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate in an alley. He pushed me up against a wall and started kissing me, but he pushed me so hard I cut open my head and needed 10 stitches. FML
Today, when my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I got a nose bleed. He gave me a shirt to plug it with and kept going. FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my fingers got stuck between the wall and headboard. Screaming, he thought I was enjoying the sex and kept going even harder. I have 3 broken fingers. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
yellowboy30 0
my nails r cut. let me try
JesseOhNine 0
yuck
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (338)
dyno254 0
is he a fag?
choclatmuffin101 2
Guys with long nails are gross :(
starquality 7
just be glad that he wasn't wearing fangs and ate you.
obrien813 6
gross
bballstar1244 0
uh ouch?? :/
simon_lala 0
comic book wolverine or Hugh jackman wolverine? just asking.
stuart169 3
Maybe you should stop dating emo dickheads that think they're vampires or some stupid some stupid shit ?....................../´¯/) ....................,/¯../ .................../..../ ............./´¯/'...'/´¯¯`·¸ ........../'/.../..../......./¨¯ ........('(...´...´.... ¯~/'...') ..........................'...../ ..........''............. _.·´ ..........................( ..............................
qtns0cal 0
disgusting!!! do you know how many bacteria live under finger nails? you probably have a pretty nasty infection now
Alfonsooo 0
I bite my nails so my girlfriend need not worry
shoecrazy 5
tell him I'd he wants to get near you again he better cut them sh*ts