Today, my boyfriend fingered me. He never cuts his nails. It felt like I was getting intimate with Wolverine. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was getting dirty with my boyfriend. It was the first time he had fingered anyone, and the only thing he said was, "It feels like the inside of my asshole." FML
Today, I was about to have sex with my boyfriend when he reminded me that I needed to cut my toe nails. FML
Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend in bed after a round of amazing sex. He decided it would be a great time to stick his finger up my nose. FML
Today, my boyfriend stuck his finger in my butt and I liked it, but I can’t ever tell him that or he’ll get that smug look on his face like, “I told you so, let’s have anal now.” FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time, and I tried to be sexy by raking my nails down his back. I guess I did it a little too hard, because he shrieked in pain, leapt off me, and limped around the room cursing and whimpering. Mood ruined. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate with each other, starting with some foreplay. Before he fingered me, he put on a blue surgical glove, claiming that "down there is dirty and smelly" and he didn't want it on his hand. FML
Today, I had to take my boyfriend to the emergency room to get stitches from cutting his arm during sex. I sat there while he explained to the doctor how it was the best orgasm ever. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate in an alley. He pushed me up against a wall and started kissing me, but he pushed me so hard I cut open my head and needed 10 stitches. FML
Today, when my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I got a nose bleed. He gave me a shirt to plug it with and kept going. FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my fingers got stuck between the wall and headboard. Screaming, he thought I was enjoying the sex and kept going even harder. I have 3 broken fingers. FML
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Top comments
yellowboy30 0
my nails r cut. let me try
JesseOhNine 0
yuck
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Comments (338)
Snowlight_fml 7
Problem?
knight0748 5
Tell Edward scissorhand to stick with landscaping and leaving the plumbing to mario.
mightybrit 6
hahaha this made my day xD
ugotjewed 0
best comment ever @ 25
ThatLovelyGeek 0
Omg,I agree,this made my day!!Very clever.Well done my friend,well done.
shinersaboss 0
This is amazing :):):) made me laugh
blackberry90210 0
how often do you fantasize about characters in books for children?
ScuseMePrincess 2
X-Men really isn't intended for children. Most comics now are more mature than they were back in the day. Superheroes are for all ages.
camo97 0
Were his nails clean at least?
buckeye08 10
Huh, someone was getting nailed...
camo97 0
that's funny!
Jays7 10
that made my day .. er well night. :P
buckeye08 10
thank you, thank you (: lol
ScuseMePrincess 2
TORNADO CLAW!
Peacewind 0
But Wolverine is a sexy beast!! :P
smeesha 4
^i agree
smeesha 4
^i agree
smeesha 4
^i agree
OneBigMessUp 5
Just like you!
ScuseMePrincess 2
YDI for dating a nasty dude with long fingernails and not telling him to stop scratching your cooter as soon as it started to hurt, bub.
jennakris 0
that's funny!!!
NBS93 0
Lol @38, Wolverine is known to use the word "bub" to address people. So good reference.
cbdee 8
Amen 38, @ the first snag OP shulda Spoke Up!
mismonroe 0
I'd hate to see your insides.
infamous122 0
can i eat u? lol
upallnighttt 0
I'd finger u any day oh tha week
little545 0
i would love to see your insides and fingar you
Xx_Dakota_xX 1
question how do u know what it feels like to be fingered by wolverine unless u had him finger u before?
BaconDave 12
It was a simile
Xx_Dakota_xX 1
lol I wasn't to good with similes and metaphors :p...I'm better with metaphors tho. -.-
tona01 16
an exagerated simile maybe, but we all get the point. face it you were trying to be funny and it was a total fail
Xx_Dakota_xX 1
158- wasn't trying to be funny...more around having a point