Today, my boyfriend fingered me. He never cuts his nails. It felt like I was getting intimate with Wolverine. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was getting dirty with my boyfriend. It was the first time he had fingered anyone, and the only thing he said was, "It feels like the inside of my asshole." FML
Today, I was about to have sex with my boyfriend when he reminded me that I needed to cut my toe nails. FML
Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend in bed after a round of amazing sex. He decided it would be a great time to stick his finger up my nose. FML
Today, my boyfriend stuck his finger in my butt and I liked it, but I can’t ever tell him that or he’ll get that smug look on his face like, “I told you so, let’s have anal now.” FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time, and I tried to be sexy by raking my nails down his back. I guess I did it a little too hard, because he shrieked in pain, leapt off me, and limped around the room cursing and whimpering. Mood ruined. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate with each other, starting with some foreplay. Before he fingered me, he put on a blue surgical glove, claiming that "down there is dirty and smelly" and he didn't want it on his hand. FML
Today, I had to take my boyfriend to the emergency room to get stitches from cutting his arm during sex. I sat there while he explained to the doctor how it was the best orgasm ever. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate in an alley. He pushed me up against a wall and started kissing me, but he pushed me so hard I cut open my head and needed 10 stitches. FML
Today, when my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I got a nose bleed. He gave me a shirt to plug it with and kept going. FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my fingers got stuck between the wall and headboard. Screaming, he thought I was enjoying the sex and kept going even harder. I have 3 broken fingers. FML
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Top comments
yellowboy30 0
my nails r cut. let me try
JesseOhNine 0
yuck
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Comments (338)
drayloon 50
if we're talking xmen here, wolverine's brother sabertooth would be a better analogy
VampOfSavannah 31
Why the hell wouldn't you have said something sooner?
Izabel12 7
Why would let him do that!? Ugh, that's painful and very unhygienic.
hannah_r_nelson 18
Same thing has happened to me. I feel you...
magickiss87 22
When all else fails, I'd rather just cut my man's nails for him. That or tell him "until you cut and file those razor blades you call nails, there'll be no lovin!" Usually works. Lol. Though, some men are so lazy they'd just say "fine. Just less work for me to do anyways. " If that's the case, next time he wants some nookie I'd throw it right back at him with the whole "well babe, that's just a bit of work and not quite feelin it tonight. Don't worry though, I'm sure you can take care of it yourself. " haha.
fantasyworld 39
Tell Wolverine to get out of your ****** and he's not allowed back in until he cuts his nails.
Isandri 29
well, there's a reason why every lesbian has her nails cut short ;D
Ashpole 13
bruhh this the worst, i cut mine often and my gf still gets shanked sometimes.. Sorry ****** owners
PsudoAnon 20
So tell him no until he clips them short. Easy solution.
T1A2Z3 35
Owwww that sucks. Ask him to cut them?