Today, the smoke detector in my bedroom malfunctioned and started going off while my cat was asleep on my shoulder. He panicked and deeply lacerated my nose with his claw as he ran off. Blood got everywhere, and to add insult to injury the unit has no removable battery and wouldn't turn off. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was laying with my cat when someone set off a firework next to my window. Now I have stitches and a bed covered in blood. FML
Today, I was messing with my cat by moving my hand around under the sheets to make it look like a mouse, making him pounce at it. Without thinking, I brought my hand up to scratch my nose and was immediately attacked by flailing claws. FML
Today, my ill-tempered cat tried to slap me in the face. She ended up sticking one of her claws as far up my nostril as it would go, and got stuck. Not only did I kinda get to experience what it feels like to be stabbed, I also got a horrible nosebleed. FML
Today, I'm covered in scratches because a feral cat found its way under the house and tore apart the A/C duct to climb its way into my room in the middle of the night. After 30 minutes of chasing it, I got rid of it, but my room now smells like cat piss and I'm applying Neosporin to places I should never have to. FML
Today, my cat was laying on my chest while I was in bed. I farted, which my closed legs seemed to amplify. My cat was so scared, she used me as a launching pad and cut my chest in three places with her claws. FML
Today, like most days, my cat tried to wake me up with a gentle, fluffy paw pat on my nose. This morning, however, he managed to get his claw caught inside my nostril. FML
Today, my cat woke me up at 12 AM. After I told her to chill, I realized the mattress needed some air. Inflating it didn't work so I looked for the puncture wound. While trying to find a hot glue stick to patch it with, I got a thin shard of glass in my foot, which broke while I tried to get it out. FML
Today, I was lying in bed with my cat. I must have looked at him the wrong way or something, because he hissed and savagely clawed at my face without warning. FML
Today, my cat jumped on my shoulders, but stepped in my hood and choked me and when I panicked she dug her claws into my shoulders. FML
Today, my cat tried to kill me. While I was sleeping, he put his paws on either side of my face and laid down, covering my nose and mouth. While I was struggling to free myself, I could hear my sister laughing next to me. FML
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Top comments
desbuhbear 22
Break that shit
FalloutScrolls 25
Well, it's Monday. So the quota of bad stuff happening has started filling. Hopefully by Wednesday it'll be smooth sailing for you. Hope you heal quickly, OP!
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Comments (17)
RhiannonMuh 16
Oh dear, that's terrible! I am really sorry to hear about that! I hope your cat is alright and it didn't get to much of a fright
Rabite 28
Fellow scratchee here. The most annoying part is to explain to the people you meet during the day that you didn't have an accident, but that your cat panicked and used your face as a trampolin.
Bearsmomma 30
The first night in an apartment years ago was spent with a smoke detector annoyingly screeching. We took it down, removed the battery and it still screeched! Eventually we locked in the truck so we could sleep. 1st thing in the morning we walked into the rental office and placed it on the desk with all its loud annoyance and walked out. They brought new one and installed it shortly thereafter. All that to say, minus the cat, I feel your pain. Sorry for your literal pain and hope the detector is fixed soon.
chase_preuss_HTX 4
How the f*** do you deserve that? People are a**holes
LtCmdrData 11
Just unplug it from the mains.