Today, my son asked for my help with a personal matter. I was flattered that he trusted me, since he's a paranoid, untrusting psycho. Turned out he wanted to use my locksmith skills to break into his ex's house and "teach her a lesson" for breaking up with him after he cheated on her. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out just how bad my boyfriend's trust issues are, thanks to him being cheated on in the past. He actually had the nerve to ask his 6 year-old son if I had any other men come over while he was at work. FML
Today, I got a call from my ex asking if I could fix her computer. I brought my 7 year old son with me. On the way I told him, how I hated her, but I can't be rude. Once we get there, I say to her "it's nice to see you." My son says "but I thought you said you want her to fall off a bridge?" FML
Today, my nineteen-year-old son attempted to mug me. With a screwdriver. FML
Today, my son tried extort me into turning the WiFi back on by hiding my purse. He was mad because he'd lost access for being disrespectful. FML
Today, after much debate, my husband convinced me to let his scumbag brother babysit our seven-year-old son while we went out to a restaurant. When we got home, we found him teaching our son how to pick the lock to our liquor cabinet. My husband is unapologetic. FML
Today, my son told me he liked a girl, so I asked if they were friends. He said no, he's never spoken to her, but he watches her in class and follows her around. When I told him that was fucking creepy, my wife yelled at me. My kid is a stalker and my wife thinks it's cute. God help me. FML
Today, I came home early to find my (now ex) girlfriend having a screaming argument with my son, because he caught her trying to burn pictures of my late wife. I'm back to being single, but at least I can be proud of my son for standing up to her (he's usually very timid). Can't believe I was dating that psycho. FML
Today, my son got in an argument with my boyfriend, packed up his stuff, and moved in with his dad. Not five minutes later I saw my boyfriend doing his stupid happy dance. When angrily confronted, he admitted he orchestrated every argument for months until he got the result he wanted, my son gone. FML
Today, I was called by my 9 year old son's teacher. He had handcuffed himself to his desk with handcuffs he found in my room. I was told to please bring in the key and not to leave my kinky toys out where a child could get them. I'm a cop. FML
Today, my teenage son broke into my gun safe, took my gun, and dumped the magazine into the side of his ex-girlfriend's family home. He's completely stunned that he was arrested and charged with attempted murder. My wife blames me and wants a divorce. FML
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Top comments
dancer824 18
Your son sounds great
may14th 26
counseling works wonders.
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Comments (144)
rocker_chick23 27
Your son is crazy. Get him some help before he ends up in jail or dead.
Brandi_Faith 34
...or before he hurts or kills someone else!
jackycat 17
Unfortunately, most states can't do anything until he harms someone or they have a mountain of evidence that he intends to do harm.
worldclassrager 41
Maybe you should teach him how to pick a lock and then mention to his girlfriend to keep things under combination locks or key codes
so_smooth 13
I guess you could say he's a real LADY KILLER.....pun pun pun
pins91 27
You need to be in jail.
Queen_of_Night 20
So, you describe your son as a "paranoid, untrusting psycho" and you haven't sought out professional help before he trusted you with his plot to break into his ex's house? This is why we can't have nice things...
Khaleesi_26 30
You don't know of OP has or hasn't sought out help for his son. Maybe OP already got his son help but he is still bat crap crazy!
nightbirdblue 27
Plus you can't force someone to accept the help given to them. For all we know, OP's son is an adult who went through therapy multiple times, but didn't want to change. OP could have taken him to professionals, but that doesn't mean that the son would want to change.
jackycat 17
You can shove him into all the therapy you want when he's under 18, but that doesn't mean he'll cooperate. Also, once he's 18 there's nothing OP can do.
Katthebamf 29
Damn!
demonfacee 14
Your son cheated, and he can't teach his ex a lesson because his ex did the right thing by breaking up with him for cheating. Hopefully, you didn't teach him your locksmith skills.
Mylife_hell 12
Lmao?????
ipaduaino 10
thats your own kid get him and yourself help dick
hilldawg 4
Sounds like either you didn't teach him right and wrong in his early years, or he's mentally disturbed. Either way, you should probably try to get him help. That right there is a mentality that may very well get someone hurt one day.
jackycat 17
And if he's over 18 most states won't do anything until he's actually harmed someone.
acerredrum 23
Jesus ******* Christ Jackycat, are you a parrot? You are repeating the same thing on every post. OP can do something, he can alert the girl that his son is a serious threat to her. She can get a restraining order which OP can witness on that his son IS a threat. Then if OP's son breaks the restraining order he can get jail time. OP can make attempts to protect this girl from his son who obviously wants to harm her, whether it be emotionally or physically.
Witchylady 18
Your son needs therapy. And possibly a prison sentence.