Today, my son asked for my help with a personal matter. I was flattered that he trusted me, since he's a paranoid, untrusting psycho. Turned out he wanted to use my locksmith skills to break into his ex's house and "teach her a lesson" for breaking up with him after he cheated on her. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out just how bad my boyfriend's trust issues are, thanks to him being cheated on in the past. He actually had the nerve to ask his 6 year-old son if I had any other men come over while he was at work. FML
Today, I got a call from my ex asking if I could fix her computer. I brought my 7 year old son with me. On the way I told him, how I hated her, but I can't be rude. Once we get there, I say to her "it's nice to see you." My son says "but I thought you said you want her to fall off a bridge?" FML
Today, my nineteen-year-old son attempted to mug me. With a screwdriver. FML
Today, my son tried extort me into turning the WiFi back on by hiding my purse. He was mad because he'd lost access for being disrespectful. FML
Today, after much debate, my husband convinced me to let his scumbag brother babysit our seven-year-old son while we went out to a restaurant. When we got home, we found him teaching our son how to pick the lock to our liquor cabinet. My husband is unapologetic. FML
Today, my son told me he liked a girl, so I asked if they were friends. He said no, he's never spoken to her, but he watches her in class and follows her around. When I told him that was fucking creepy, my wife yelled at me. My kid is a stalker and my wife thinks it's cute. God help me. FML
Today, I came home early to find my (now ex) girlfriend having a screaming argument with my son, because he caught her trying to burn pictures of my late wife. I'm back to being single, but at least I can be proud of my son for standing up to her (he's usually very timid). Can't believe I was dating that psycho. FML
Today, my son got in an argument with my boyfriend, packed up his stuff, and moved in with his dad. Not five minutes later I saw my boyfriend doing his stupid happy dance. When angrily confronted, he admitted he orchestrated every argument for months until he got the result he wanted, my son gone. FML
Today, I was called by my 9 year old son's teacher. He had handcuffed himself to his desk with handcuffs he found in my room. I was told to please bring in the key and not to leave my kinky toys out where a child could get them. I'm a cop. FML
Today, my teenage son broke into my gun safe, took my gun, and dumped the magazine into the side of his ex-girlfriend's family home. He's completely stunned that he was arrested and charged with attempted murder. My wife blames me and wants a divorce. FML
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Top comments
dancer824 18
Your son sounds great
may14th 26
counseling works wonders.
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Comments (144)
kitsy 14
Lockpicking increased to 36
ladyg228 15
Get him some HELP! And please warn all future females that even comes into close contact!!!!
superspooky 13
Please for society's sake, get your son some help.
Xeebar 28
Your son's a ********.
Vegetarian27 24
This is really concerning. OP's son is a potential domestic violence offender down the track, and at worst, a murderer, because this is how domestic violence murders start.
shessovain 7
You need to get him some serious help.
CloudKumo 12
You think your son is a psycho? That's really harsh...
limabeans101029 21
Wanting to break into someone's house to "teach them a lesson" for breaking up with you is also "really harsh", don't you think?
DrHothead 15
After he cheated on her!!! Attaboy
Thors_Hammer9999 17
You should probably look into getting your son professional psychiatric help of the institution variety
Omniprism 15
Maybe he needs some therapy? Like seriously needs some therapy. And maybe call her to tell her to get a restraining order.