Today, I woke up to an angry snake trying to climb the leg of my bed. My bedroom was closed all day yesterday. It must have gotten in my room days ago. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, as I was rushing to get out for work, I opened my door just in time to witness a large snake slither into my home. I had no choice but to lock it inside and go to work. I've now spent several hours searching for it with my friends, and we can't find it. I'm scared to go to sleep. FML
Today, I had to chase off the Eastern Brown snake that's been hanging around. When it doubled back, I fell over trying to move out of its way and landed in a bush that contained 3 separate wasp nests. My body feels like it is on fire and the snake is now in my chook shed, refusing to leave. FML
Today, I went into my room and found a plastic snake on the floor. I yelled out to my sister, "Good one, Ellen!" I picked up the snake to take it to show her. The snake started moving in my hands and bit me. I had to go to the hospital. FML
Today, my son's glasses were missing. My bathroom is not well lit, but I noticed something sticking out from under the toilet seat. I excitedly grabbed it, thinking I saw the band of the glasses. Nope, it was a snake. FML
Today, my cat decided to show me just how much he loves me by bringing a live snake into my bedroom. Thanks. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to cure me of my snake phobia by buying one. When he took it out of the cage, it bit him. Now he's terrified of them too. Even worse, he dropped the snake, so it's now loose in our house. FML
Today, I went out to get milk from the garage fridge for my mom. The moment I stepped out, my foot settled on the neighbor's boa, who likes to escape. After my mom finally opened the door to my frantic shouting, she spotted the snake, slammed the door, and locked both of us outside. FML
Today, I found that there is nothing worse than coming home to a snake slithering across your kitchen floor. Except when it disappears into your cabinets. FML
Today, I was taking a hike through the Appalachians. I lost my balance in a steep area, and grabbed for a root along the trail above me. It turned to not be a root, but a large, angry snake. FML
Today, my 6 ft snake got loose. I found it. It was in my neighbor's backyard, constricting their pet rabbit. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
w2z1 0
Was he a...sneaky snake?!?!
ohSNAPyall 27
Sssssshit.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (93)
SirEBC 7
I'M TIRED OF THIS MOTHA ****** SNAKE, IN MY MOTHA ****** BED!
demetrius19 7
sucks 2 be u
usafacadet2013 4
From now on, don't go in there without a mongoose.
DocBastard 40
You need to coral that thing. Maybe try to use a feather boa or one of your garters to distract it while you tie it up in a ball with a co-bra. If you can't catch it, don't asp your dad or mamba for help, just put a hat on your copperhead, some water moccasins on your feet, and get adder there and into your Dodge Viper.
AtomicMangox3 1
I think I've seen this style of comments on another fml.. It was probably you. It made me laugh. This made me laugh. Good job. Very clever..
azhigatex 0
^^Win^^
Ariasmake_1 0
and people thought I was crazy when I bought a mongoose! these things happen.
imac619 2
If it's not venomus stop complaining. If it's not a full grown retic or conda stop complaining. Snakes are awesome,easy to handle. YDI
gatiekatie 0
take your own advice and stop complaining.
luvin_purple 11
that's my worst nightmare too! I'm petrified of snakes! I would get a heart attack if that happened to me
F_U_imcrippled 0
Today, after travelling for days to my mating grounds I finally arrived only to find a house in my way with some horribly loud and ugly woman inside...sigh...oh well she is still better then my ex.
melibear89 7
you must live in Florida.
truehitman2010 0
do you live on a plane?