Today, we sparred for Tae Kwon Do. I forgot my cup, but I didn't think anyone sucked enough to hit me below the belt. Five seconds into a match, some girl knees me in the Hacky Sacks. After writhing in pain for 30 seconds, I got back up to spar. I didn't think she sucked enough to do it again. She did. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, during a judo session, I was paired with a thin, frail-looking rookie. Before a mock skirmish, as I'm much bigger, I said I'd take it easy on her, but also to give it her best shot. She immediately threw me on my face to the floor, knocking me out cold in 7 seconds. FML
Today, I was showing some new karate moves in the park to my friends. I mimed a punch behind a girl walking past to show my technique and control, but she must have seen me. She turned around and kicked me in the stomach. To add insult to injury, her technique was better than mine. FML
Today, I got kneed in the stomach by a sixth grader. I couldn't breathe. I have a black belt in Taekwondo. FML
Today, at sparring, I got paired up with a girl, who said, "Don't go easy on me because I'm a girl!" Thirty seconds into the match, she was on the floor whimpering and crying. Now everyone is whispering and glaring at me. FML
Today, I was practising kicks with a a woman in my MMA class and for some reason she dropped her pads to ask me a question at the last second, and I kicked her in the jaw. I got banned from the class for not being careful. She’s the one lowered the pad in the middle of practice. FML
Today, I was horsing around after my big test. Someone punched me softly on my back. Figuring it was my friend, I turned around and did a roundhouse kick. It was my girlfriend. FML
Today, at karate, my sparring partner thought it was completely okay to surprise kick me in the vagina. When he saw me doubled over in pain, he was completely surprised. Apparently, he thought that it wouldn't hurt, because I have no penis. FML
Today, I was laughing at a girl who really sucks at badminton. Turns out she has anger issues, and a really good aim when she's mad. I've never been hit so hard in the crotch before. FML
Today, I decided to challenge the jerk jock at work to a fight, since he kept poking fun at me for being a weakling. Having started taking MMA classes, I was confident I'd make him eat his words. Just my luck, he's an MMA instructor and kicked my ass effortlessly. Not what I had planned. FML
Today, I competed in a Tae Kwon Do competition. I came third with my team in the sparring event. My mum said as a joke, "Were there only 3 teams?" There were. FML
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Top comments
Finnboghi 0
She's a bitch. Once is your fault. Twice is hers.
lovely_189 0
stupid bitch, punch her in the boobs :D
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Comments (243)
Levski 1
happy sacks? really?
KeiIshiyama 10
FYL because she's cheap enough to kick you down there, but you TOTALLY had this coming for not being prepared. My opinion? Grab her rack and squeeze. Bitch wants to play dirty, get even.
SirWTF 10
I'm against violence against females, but any girl who knees me twice in the balls deserves nothing less than having her nipples pinched and ripped off while I scream at her,"HOW'S THAT FEEL NOW!? HOW DOES IT FEEL!?"
littlericht 3
Twist her nipples so she can feel your pain!!!
littlericht 3
I fort the whole reason of learning self defence was to avoid these situations. You suck! Defend your self at all costs! And defiantly don't let it happen twice!
newburton13 26
You really thought a girl wouldn't take advantage of that?
Monstarred 7
I'm a blackbelt in Tae Kwon Do and kicking the groin does not equal unskilled. Sometimes two people may kick at once making them more vulnerable to get hit by accident because the other persons leg will be up which can lead them to get hit under the belt
workout1 5
Ha! That's what you get! Some people just can't kick that high! So ya gotta wear the cup!
watchitgo 4
Times like those are where it's okay to deck a woman in the face
TheJoker91 6
u should start wearng a cup