Today, trying to be an old-school romantic, I asked my girlfriend, "Where art thou, my love?" via SMS. She replied, "Toilet." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I texted my girlfriend a long, heartfelt message this morning. Her response? "What do you need? Or is this even really you?" FML
Today, I tried to flirt with my girlfriend since I'm really busy and we can't always be together. I tell her online that I think she's hot and she responds "Keep talking I have to pee". FML
Today, wanting to be romantic, I came home with flowers, and told my girlfriend that I loved her and that I never wanted us to fall apart. Before I could finish my second sentence, she farted, said, "Aww, that's so sweet" and quickly excused herself to go to the bathroom. FML
Today, I took out my phone and realized I butt dialed my girlfriend and left her a 4 minute voicemail of me farting in an echoing toilet bowl. FML
Today, my husband and I were talking about how we missed our sexting from when we were dating, so later I took a bath and texted him while he was relaxing in bed. His response ? "I'm tired and hurry up I need to poop." FML
Today, I was on the toilet, when the girl I really like decided to call. I'd left my cellphone in my room and my dad answered. All he said was, "He's taking a shit. This might take a while." and hung up. FML
Today, I texted my girlfriend a long heartfelt loving message for our 2-year anniversary. Her reply was just "K." FML
Today, my girlfriend had an "accident" at home. She texted me about it. I tried to lightly tease her and sent a comment about her shitting her pants… to the family group chat by mistake. I'm currently writing my last will and testament. FML
Today, my girlfriend is on her period. She hugged me, crying because she was going to miss me. Where was I going? To the store down the street and back. FML
Today, I spent hours delicately writing out what seemed to be a beautiful poem to my girlfriend. After I sent it to her, I kept eyeing my phone to see her surprised message. No, the only response I got was, "You may want to use a spellcheck." FML
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Top comments
nerdsgetmehot 23
Oh no, you've found out the truth-- that girls POO and PEE. How will you LIVE?!
alwa7sh 2
she art ******** !
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Comments (153)
natas_fml 13
Then what is the correct way to say it? Why art thou?
TaylorTotsYumm 10
No, wherefore means why in Elizabethan English.
Niaa_fml 0
I'm reading Romeo & Juliet right now. She didn't ask him "where art thou" when he was in front of her, she was basically thinking out loud not knowing that Romeo was listening to her all along right outside her balcony. She said "O Romeo, Romeo. Wherefore art thou, Romeo? Deny thy father and refuse thy name or if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love and I'll no longer be a Capulet."
raindragon16 3
That's just cute, funny and something I would do. :)
DakotaCat 4
Ma'am I answered your question.. I'm cooperating here!
sum1two 0
boo hoo.. your life must be terrible.
Juliaa15 6
would you prefer someone dying? would you prefer cancer? good for you if you do.
amuck 0
That's shitty
Cinn_fml 23
I'm glad I'm not the only one who was mildly irritated by the incorrect use of the quote. @OP - It's a fair response, if not a little too honest. But it's not that bad, and kinda funny.
ialmostforgot 4
Mm. Texts like that are always sexy and classy.(:
rattusrattus 19
FYL. She should have said 'privy'. FYL for a girlfriend with no knowledge of historical words for 'toilet'. Gardy-Loo! *tips content of chamberpot out of window*
TaylorTotsYumm 10
Haha, this gave me quite the chuckle. :]