Today, trying to be an old-school romantic, I asked my girlfriend, "Where art thou, my love?" via SMS. She replied, "Toilet." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I texted my girlfriend a long, heartfelt message this morning. Her response? "What do you need? Or is this even really you?" FML
Today, I tried to flirt with my girlfriend since I'm really busy and we can't always be together. I tell her online that I think she's hot and she responds "Keep talking I have to pee". FML
Today, wanting to be romantic, I came home with flowers, and told my girlfriend that I loved her and that I never wanted us to fall apart. Before I could finish my second sentence, she farted, said, "Aww, that's so sweet" and quickly excused herself to go to the bathroom. FML
Today, I took out my phone and realized I butt dialed my girlfriend and left her a 4 minute voicemail of me farting in an echoing toilet bowl. FML
Today, my husband and I were talking about how we missed our sexting from when we were dating, so later I took a bath and texted him while he was relaxing in bed. His response ? "I'm tired and hurry up I need to poop." FML
Today, I was on the toilet, when the girl I really like decided to call. I'd left my cellphone in my room and my dad answered. All he said was, "He's taking a shit. This might take a while." and hung up. FML
Today, I texted my girlfriend a long heartfelt loving message for our 2-year anniversary. Her reply was just "K." FML
Today, my girlfriend had an "accident" at home. She texted me about it. I tried to lightly tease her and sent a comment about her shitting her pants… to the family group chat by mistake. I'm currently writing my last will and testament. FML
Today, my girlfriend is on her period. She hugged me, crying because she was going to miss me. Where was I going? To the store down the street and back. FML
Today, I spent hours delicately writing out what seemed to be a beautiful poem to my girlfriend. After I sent it to her, I kept eyeing my phone to see her surprised message. No, the only response I got was, "You may want to use a spellcheck." FML
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Top comments
nerdsgetmehot 23
Oh no, you've found out the truth-- that girls POO and PEE. How will you LIVE?!
alwa7sh 2
she art ******** !
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Comments (153)
Clover2009 0
I do that sort of thing with my boyfriend all the time. Fifteen minutes ago he proudly texted me saying he just took a massive shit. My reply, "Bravo babe."
carical 0
what, do you expect her to text 'in the lavatory excreting faeces my dear' while she's ******** or something?
LekoloHawk340 0
Well she's a keeper, for sure!
blondie97_x 2
lmao!
Scorch117 0
Woman: blarg blah blah he's not romantic lalalaa Now when it does happen, she doesn't give... a shit. ;)
gadgetfmllover 0
What a girl :)
Sadochan 0
She's helping you do 'Shitspeare'! lolz
Smexi101 0
Lmao
Tadeusz_fml 5
YOUR LIFE IS RUINED! You may as well go to the window and end it now.
insanelyXnikki 18
At least she gives a shit :D
CaptainJ1000 1
Could have been worse, she could have said: "Birthing a mud nugget"