Today, trying to be an old-school romantic, I asked my girlfriend, "Where art thou, my love?" via SMS. She replied, "Toilet." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I texted my girlfriend a long, heartfelt message this morning. Her response? "What do you need? Or is this even really you?" FML
Today, I tried to flirt with my girlfriend since I'm really busy and we can't always be together. I tell her online that I think she's hot and she responds "Keep talking I have to pee". FML
Today, wanting to be romantic, I came home with flowers, and told my girlfriend that I loved her and that I never wanted us to fall apart. Before I could finish my second sentence, she farted, said, "Aww, that's so sweet" and quickly excused herself to go to the bathroom. FML
Today, I took out my phone and realized I butt dialed my girlfriend and left her a 4 minute voicemail of me farting in an echoing toilet bowl. FML
Today, my husband and I were talking about how we missed our sexting from when we were dating, so later I took a bath and texted him while he was relaxing in bed. His response ? "I'm tired and hurry up I need to poop." FML
Today, I was on the toilet, when the girl I really like decided to call. I'd left my cellphone in my room and my dad answered. All he said was, "He's taking a shit. This might take a while." and hung up. FML
Today, I texted my girlfriend a long heartfelt loving message for our 2-year anniversary. Her reply was just "K." FML
Today, my girlfriend had an "accident" at home. She texted me about it. I tried to lightly tease her and sent a comment about her shitting her pants… to the family group chat by mistake. I'm currently writing my last will and testament. FML
Today, my girlfriend is on her period. She hugged me, crying because she was going to miss me. Where was I going? To the store down the street and back. FML
Today, I spent hours delicately writing out what seemed to be a beautiful poem to my girlfriend. After I sent it to her, I kept eyeing my phone to see her surprised message. No, the only response I got was, "You may want to use a spellcheck." FML
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Top comments
nerdsgetmehot 23
Oh no, you've found out the truth-- that girls POO and PEE. How will you LIVE?!
alwa7sh 2
she art ******** !
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Comments (153)
ShadowluigiXxP 0
"where art thou" means why are you not "where are u"
orangeslice14 1
Does the person that wrote this realize or know that "Where art thou" means Why are you...? not Where are you...?
PhantomJen 0
"Wherefore" means why. "Where," on the other hand, means "where." It does not magically change in meaning because he decided to throw some old English around it.
heyu7421 0
And you dont find that hilarious?! What kind of man are you? How does that make your life suck?!
brelinxboo 0
Never-mind the fact that you seriously just asked "why are you my love?" in Shakespearean language.
caribou_megs 7
To quote PhantomJen: "'Wherefore' means why. 'Where,' on the other hand, means 'where.' It does not magically change in meaning because he decided to throw some old English around it."
greek1919 0
wat tool says that
daotherfish 0
I'm srry but ur just gay
Draminicaus 0
That's a tragedy for you. I had no idea it all happened in a few days, though. That's just....wow.
honoshikun 3
Where art thou actually means "who are you?" As my English teacher taught me in Grade 9. But yeah, that's just funny.
Cinn_fml 23
That's 'wherefore art thou'.
CandidateForWax 0
Actually 'Wherefore art thou' means 'WHY are you?' as in why is he Romeo, aka. a Montague, so she can't be with him.
Cinn_fml 23
That's what I meant, silly me not reading the whole comment.
Yodimon 0
It seems that people don't understand softcore FMLs. It's not really tragic, just bad, and kind of funny.
RefugeForChris 0
That's what I was gonna say:D