Today, my boyfriend complained that I only respond to his flirtations with exasperation and annoyance. Apparently, grunting and humping my leg like an ill-mannered dog while I'm trying to wash dishes is his way of flirting. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, i told my boyfriend that I wasn't feeling emotionally well, and wanted cuddles. He proceeded to hump my leg. FML
Today, my boyfriend yelled at me from the other room for washing the dishes "too loudly". FML
Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML
Today, my boyfriend got mad at me when his so-called "ways to turn me on" didn't work. What were these ways? Flicking my nips and inserting his finger in my belly button. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I loved him. His response? "Is that why you have been so clingy and annoying lately?" FML
Today, my boyfriend of 4 years still can't get it that dry humping me and saying, "But I'm horny" in a goofy voice isn't a turn on. FML
Today, while cuddling with my boyfriend, he started humping my leg and said, "I'm gonna hump the fatness out of you and make you beautiful." FML
Today, I realized that my boyfriend of 3 years saying that his back is always hurting to avoid putting in any work during the bedroom Hokey Pokey was his way of saying I’m a lame screw. FML
Today, I realized my boyfriend uses sex as a way to get me to stop talking. FML
Today, I climbed into bed with my sleeping boyfriend after a long shift at work. He immediately rolled over, clamped my leg between his knees, and started viciously humping it. This is the fourth time now, and he still doesn't believe that he even does it. FML
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Top comments
mrlawlor7777 26
Smack him on the nose with a rolled up newspaper next time and say "bad Fido".
Lorenzo1102 21
Apparently I've been doing it wrong for the last 4 years
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Comments (74)
joelp232 17
its harder for some people
Badkarma4u 17
To some men when a woman is doing simple chores around the house they find that very arousing. Washing dishes, doing laundry vacuuming. If it happens alot when you are washing dishes then it might be hot for him to see you do that.
gearhead369 20
Sounds like he needs to be neutered! That'll help him to "calm down"!
ohSNAPyall 27
Puppy love.
writerchic85 26
Next time you want to flirt with him, bring him a dead half eaten bird.
Silly_Lilly6969 23
Relationship goals Amiright?
savvyrockz 3
found the furry
Goblin182 27
Just be glad he didn't piss on you to mark his territory.
bstout22 5
I thought I was as the only one who had this problem.
guitarki 11
Lock him in his kennel.