Today, my boyfriend complained that I only respond to his flirtations with exasperation and annoyance. Apparently, grunting and humping my leg like an ill-mannered dog while I'm trying to wash dishes is his way of flirting. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, i told my boyfriend that I wasn't feeling emotionally well, and wanted cuddles. He proceeded to hump my leg. FML
Today, my boyfriend yelled at me from the other room for washing the dishes "too loudly". FML
Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML
Today, my boyfriend got mad at me when his so-called "ways to turn me on" didn't work. What were these ways? Flicking my nips and inserting his finger in my belly button. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I loved him. His response? "Is that why you have been so clingy and annoying lately?" FML
Today, my boyfriend of 4 years still can't get it that dry humping me and saying, "But I'm horny" in a goofy voice isn't a turn on. FML
Today, while cuddling with my boyfriend, he started humping my leg and said, "I'm gonna hump the fatness out of you and make you beautiful." FML
Today, my boyfriend's response to me saying, "Most women like a bit of filth in the bedroom every now and again" was to start farting in bed. Not quite what I meant. FML
Today, I realized that my boyfriend of 3 years saying that his back is always hurting to avoid putting in any work during the bedroom Hokey Pokey was his way of saying I’m a lame screw. FML
Today, I realized my boyfriend uses sex as a way to get me to stop talking. FML
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Top comments
mrlawlor7777 26
Smack him on the nose with a rolled up newspaper next time and say "bad Fido".
Lorenzo1102 21
Apparently I've been doing it wrong for the last 4 years
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Comments (74)
Mooglefox 24
Well women keep telling us that we are dogs
AchesonWilliams 2
Next time spray him with the water and say bad dog!! :)
lostinareverie 21
So he was literally living the men are dogs saying then.
sahmnc420 13
Oh I so feel your pain! Mine a husband n he also does this while I'm removing dinner from the oven
rockwrench 18
Maybe you should have him neutered.
jhoe89 13
get a spray bottle and yell down boy !
hushhh 4
Maybe you need to find an older boyfriend. Yours seems to immature.
Astrobomb 21
that's his way of flirting. . . that's adorable. I'd laugh.