Today, I found a hornet's nest in the backyard, so I called my brother over to take a look. He said "Hmm, wonder how fast you can run…" then hurled a rock at the nest and sprinted back to the house. I wasn't so fast. I now feel like someone's beaten me half to death with a cactus. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while mowing the lawn, I ran over a hornet's nest. FML
Today, I tested out my new paintball gun by firing a few rounds into some thick bushes. Nothing could've prepared me for the angry swarm of hornets whose nest I'd apparently shot. I'm in so much pain. FML
Today, while mowing the lawn, I was attacked by an underground hornet nest. I now have many stings, two scared dogs, and a mower still running outside. The hornets are swarming it and some are sitting on the lever, as if to turn it off. It's like they know. FML
Today, a kid threw a rock at a beehive while my friend and I where standing next to it. It fell down, and a swarm of slightly displeased bees assumed that we were the culprit. Knowing what was about to happen, my friend and I ran for our lives. He ran fast enough to escape; I didn't. The kid, the actual culprit, didn't get attacked. FML
Today, I was stung by a wasp. Startled, I stumbled and grabbed a nearby tree branch to regain my balance. The branch happened to be the location of the wasp's nest, which fell to the ground and split open. The wasps weren't happy. FML
Today, my husband took our son into the woods with a big stick and two tennis rackets because they'd found a hornets nest. Yes, they used the stick to poke the nest and the tennis rackets to whack the hornets, like they thought it was a game. They got swarmed and are now in hospital. Idiots. FML
Today, I had to chase off the Eastern Brown snake that's been hanging around. When it doubled back, I fell over trying to move out of its way and landed in a bush that contained 3 separate wasp nests. My body feels like it is on fire and the snake is now in my chook shed, refusing to leave. FML
Today, a wasp somehow got into my parents' house, so I went hunting for it with my dad. I found it and, after getting into position, took a strong swing at it with a fly swatter. Unfortunately, being very uncoordinated, I missed. You can figure out the rest. FML
Today, I went to clean my roof when something buzzed by my head and a sting hit my neck. It turns out there's a small nest of, like, five hornets just chilling outside of my window. I found a dead one on the desk in my bedroom. FML
Today, in a desperate bid to avoid going to the doctor, my young son ran into and hid inside a cactus garden. I had to drag him out. FML
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Top comments
Noah197099 17
Easy solution: Buy a cactus and beat him with it.
Hiimhaileypotter 53
Your brother is not a very nice person. Glad you aren't allergic and didn't die!
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Comments (63)
iLike2Teabag 27
That's gotta sting. Your brother is a prick.
FluffyPandas156 13
Nice pun. But op you should get your brother back for that.
skeeter551 10
eh, I don't think his brother is a prick, just an older brother. any older brother who doesn't do something traumatizing to their younger siblings isn't doing their job.
cre8tvlylicnsd 14
Your brother beehaved rather badly. I have hive dollars on him getting grounded.
Just_A_Tree 20
One time when it was Easter and I was really little, my family and I were celebrating Easter in California. When looking for eggs, there was one hidden next to some cactuses (cacti? Cactus'? Not sure on that spelling). My brother and I both went for it, but I got it and he fell onto the cactus. All his eggs fell out and it's every man for themselves and so I started takin his while he was crying after landing on the cactus. I just realized how savage of a four year old I was...
Hiimhaileypotter 53
Your brother is not a very nice person. Glad you aren't allergic and didn't die!
nialls_girl 13
Well if a enough hornets sting you it doesn't matter if you are allergic or not. If enough venom it injected into a person it can be very lethal. :(
Hiimhaileypotter 53
That's true, but I think if they were allergic things could be a lot worse, right? I got stung by one bee over the past summer and it hurt like hell, my entire foot swelled for days. The doctor said I wasn't allergic, and that my body just did what is normal to try to get the venom out (or whatever... I'm not quite sure what exactly he said, lol). I can't even imagine going through multiple stings AND being allergic, too. So, whatever the case may be, I hope OP is doing well. :)
Patriots21 14
Make like a bee and buzz out of there
clemsi 20
While screaming "Not the beeeees!!!!!" at the top of your lungs
freakyfriday101 13
Omg thats horrible
trellz17 19
That's really not funny. You could've been seriously injured.
Demon_of_Light 27
Or dead. If OP had a serious allergy, that could have been fatal. The brother is a douchenozzle.
sweetnsourrr 11
It can be fatal either way, if she was stunged by over a hundred bees....
slyde32 12
stunged? just try stung next time
dustydick 14
Sounds like y'all did not have fun growing up.
brand125 17
14 - hornets are not bees
trellz17 19
Uhh what?
Noah197099 17
Easy solution: Buy a cactus and beat him with it.
bingo__O 15
Beat him 1/2 to death, with an extra 1/4 for good measure
Nexoux 18
As life approaches death, but never quite reaching it?
katydid91 31
Wasn't there an FML about a somebody having a cactus thrown at them by their brother?
hopenopedope 13
Clearly you didn't run fast enough.. No but seriously OP, that has got to suck, especially a day before Christmas.. merry Christmas I guess.
JMichael 26
Ah sibling love :')
T_Young96 13
Ope! Ya gotta be quicker than that!
americanafrican 32
run Forrest! RUN!