Today, in a desperate bid to avoid going to the doctor, my young son ran into and hid inside a cactus garden. I had to drag him out. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to rush my 14-year-old son to the hospital after he fell out of a tree while trying to take an obnoxious "extreme selfie". FML
Today, I was outside, peeing on a cactus. Then all of a sudden my dog jumped on my back, knocking me into the cactus. FML
Today, I was hiking down a steep hill, and I slipped. I instinctively grabbed the nearest object to me: a very prickly cactus. FML
Today, I found out what it feels like to be slapped in the face with a potted cactus. FML
Today, I rescued a cactus from a lethal fall. It thanked me with a handful of spines. FML
Today, I received an urgent call from my son's nursery asking me to collect him, saying he was, "lethargic, complaining about being ill and crying." I get there and he's running around, playing, and admitted that he just wanted to come home. They still made me take him home. FML
Today, I was hiking, and four miles away from my car and civilization, I tripped over a rock into a cactus. I used duct tape, which ripped all the hair off my arms and legs but ignored the spikes. FML
Today, I found a hornet's nest in the backyard, so I called my brother over to take a look. He said "Hmm, wonder how fast you can run…" then hurled a rock at the nest and sprinted back to the house. I wasn't so fast. I now feel like someone's beaten me half to death with a cactus. FML
Today, while climbing a mountain, I got to the top and then put both of my arms up in a victory kind of way only to trip on a rock and fall into a cactus plant. FML
Today, I was at a party, and someone called the cops on us. I dove into a bush that turned out to have thorns. I got multiple cuts and a sprained wrist, and got arrested anyway. Its kind of hard to hide from the police when you're screaming in agony. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
What a prick!
futtbuck101 1
F your sons life.
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Comments (100)
HowAreYouToday 34
Well... That's that
nonelikeworms 0
Well you sure got to the point. Maybe you can sharpen the boy up! That all I can do right now.
tylersign 11
Looks like you're gonna be making multiple trips to the good old doc, OP.
LiveLaughFML 10
your son should have ran inside an apple garden. an apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor is cute, forget the fruit! c:
fanceh 10
Little prick...
Saltime 0
WHO THE HELL HAS A CACTUS GARDEN?
epicphails 0
I agree with 35. And if you didn't want to go to the doctor you might want to watch your kid!
ripgeorgecarl1n 7
Unless the kid was due for a prostate exam, he really has no reason to be that scared.
fabian21 0
My neighbors have a cactus garden.. I hate it, i can never play football without the ball rolling over there.
MagicGiraffe 12
Cactus gardens are cheaper than guard dogs
Klums02 0
I would have just thrown the kid back in there...
PutItIn 8
He came out lookin like the exorcist.
HowAreYouToday 34
Did you guys hear about the???
False_Stupidity 42
84- hear about the what!?.. Don't keep us in suspense like that man, just spit it out!
HowAreYouToday 34
-.- my previous comment got edited somehow... That's not even close to what I said...
futtbuck101 1
F your sons life.
PushMyButtons 5
Oh I totally imagined the guy in your picture saying that!! Hahaha
zukinihudini 0
Yeah he got dragged through cacti
BaconDave 12
Futtbuck - you are my favorite
hellokittay 5
That is not a good hiding place.
Lennes 12
No, but it's a good place for people not to disturb you; like up in a tree or at a Justin Bieber concert, there's no one there, so you can be left alone to be with your thoughts.
Lennes 12
No, but it's a good place for people not to disturb you; like up in a tree or at a Justin Bieber concert, there's no one there, so you can be left alone to be with your thoughts.
Ddevon 4
your son's not very smart to hide in a cactus garden...wait actually Thats genius
PushMyButtons 5
I woulda grabbed a branch and whooped his little patoot! Haha just kidding, that's cruel.
perdix 31
What a prick!
ohxdamnxkay02 12
lol
skylier93 0
I love you perdix.
leadman1989 16
I think he got the point. :)
ItsTheKing 10
@45 you think you're Sharp just because you can make a pun?
False_Stupidity 42
Hope he wasn't trying to avoid getting a needle :-)
Laterial 3
Wow. Talk about a sticky situation!
jacob4848 4
A prickly situation yes. A sticky one no.
kikibrowm 7
And where, exactly, was this cactus garden...?
iAmScrubs 19
A garden housing cacti; A pokemon of the Cactaceae family. Their distinctive appearance is a result of adaptations to conserve water in dry or hot environments.
iAmScrubs 19
Damn. I really screwed that comment up. I could have sworn that you said what instead of where. Anyhoo, I guess I'll be going to get my eyes checked
jillianmathers12 13
Guess you and him are going to the doctors!
Bloodlvst 11
Wouldn't it be ironic if the doctor was an acupuncture specialist?