Today, I found a hornet's nest in the backyard, so I called my brother over to take a look. He said "Hmm, wonder how fast you can run…" then hurled a rock at the nest and sprinted back to the house. I wasn't so fast. I now feel like someone's beaten me half to death with a cactus. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while mowing the lawn, I ran over a hornet's nest. FML
Today, I tested out my new paintball gun by firing a few rounds into some thick bushes. Nothing could've prepared me for the angry swarm of hornets whose nest I'd apparently shot. I'm in so much pain. FML
Today, while mowing the lawn, I was attacked by an underground hornet nest. I now have many stings, two scared dogs, and a mower still running outside. The hornets are swarming it and some are sitting on the lever, as if to turn it off. It's like they know. FML
Today, a kid threw a rock at a beehive while my friend and I where standing next to it. It fell down, and a swarm of slightly displeased bees assumed that we were the culprit. Knowing what was about to happen, my friend and I ran for our lives. He ran fast enough to escape; I didn't. The kid, the actual culprit, didn't get attacked. FML
Today, I was stung by a wasp. Startled, I stumbled and grabbed a nearby tree branch to regain my balance. The branch happened to be the location of the wasp's nest, which fell to the ground and split open. The wasps weren't happy. FML
Today, my husband took our son into the woods with a big stick and two tennis rackets because they'd found a hornets nest. Yes, they used the stick to poke the nest and the tennis rackets to whack the hornets, like they thought it was a game. They got swarmed and are now in hospital. Idiots. FML
Today, I had to chase off the Eastern Brown snake that's been hanging around. When it doubled back, I fell over trying to move out of its way and landed in a bush that contained 3 separate wasp nests. My body feels like it is on fire and the snake is now in my chook shed, refusing to leave. FML
Today, a wasp somehow got into my parents' house, so I went hunting for it with my dad. I found it and, after getting into position, took a strong swing at it with a fly swatter. Unfortunately, being very uncoordinated, I missed. You can figure out the rest. FML
Today, I went to clean my roof when something buzzed by my head and a sting hit my neck. It turns out there's a small nest of, like, five hornets just chilling outside of my window. I found a dead one on the desk in my bedroom. FML
Today, in a desperate bid to avoid going to the doctor, my young son ran into and hid inside a cactus garden. I had to drag him out. FML
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Top comments
Noah197099 17
Easy solution: Buy a cactus and beat him with it.
Hiimhaileypotter 53
Your brother is not a very nice person. Glad you aren't allergic and didn't die!
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Comments (63)
icekitten14 12
Guess who's getting coal for Christmas
delude 26
I'm so terrified of bees if someone pulled that on me I would beat them to death with a cactus
russfml 31
I would pull a Charlie from Sunny in Philly D and give him a shook up hornets hive for Xmas. What an asshole
MrDonSalvetti 27
Your brother is an asshole. You could have ended up dead. What a prick...
Futacy 30
He's your brother. Older or younger, you need to show that little shit who's king. I'm a pacifist, but if you get me stung by a swarm of hornets because you think it's funny, you're getting water boarded.
MzZombicidal 36
All's fair in love and war! On a serious note, I hope OP can recover enough to honestly enjoy the holidays and not feel like death while doing so.
TomeDr 25
What is he, 7 years old?? Any older than that he should know better. I sincerely hope you're not getting him anything for Christmas!
dragoongirl90 34
Merry freakin' Christmas to you.
thatcoolguy123 14
Wow that must have been close... you sound like you're in serious condition now. Try doing something similar like that to your little 5-year-old prick in the future...
Leenah_93 11
WTF?
danimal_crackerz 26
You should walk up to him and go "I've met some pricks in my days, but you sir are a cactus." And help him reproduce by beating him with the cactus
B00K_L0V3R93 31
Firstly OP your brother is a complete a-hole who needs to be punished. What he did was extremely cruel and dangerous, you could have been seriously injured. Secondly I know your pain, I was stung as a child on my eyelid and that was extremely painful, my eye was swollen shut and I had a patch on it. Not fun at all. Hope you get better OP.