Today, I found a hornet's nest in the backyard, so I called my brother over to take a look. He said "Hmm, wonder how fast you can run…" then hurled a rock at the nest and sprinted back to the house. I wasn't so fast. I now feel like someone's beaten me half to death with a cactus. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while mowing the lawn, I ran over a hornet's nest. FML
Today, I tested out my new paintball gun by firing a few rounds into some thick bushes. Nothing could've prepared me for the angry swarm of hornets whose nest I'd apparently shot. I'm in so much pain. FML
Today, while mowing the lawn, I was attacked by an underground hornet nest. I now have many stings, two scared dogs, and a mower still running outside. The hornets are swarming it and some are sitting on the lever, as if to turn it off. It's like they know. FML
Today, a kid threw a rock at a beehive while my friend and I where standing next to it. It fell down, and a swarm of slightly displeased bees assumed that we were the culprit. Knowing what was about to happen, my friend and I ran for our lives. He ran fast enough to escape; I didn't. The kid, the actual culprit, didn't get attacked. FML
Today, I was stung by a wasp. Startled, I stumbled and grabbed a nearby tree branch to regain my balance. The branch happened to be the location of the wasp's nest, which fell to the ground and split open. The wasps weren't happy. FML
Today, my husband took our son into the woods with a big stick and two tennis rackets because they'd found a hornets nest. Yes, they used the stick to poke the nest and the tennis rackets to whack the hornets, like they thought it was a game. They got swarmed and are now in hospital. Idiots. FML
Today, I had to chase off the Eastern Brown snake that's been hanging around. When it doubled back, I fell over trying to move out of its way and landed in a bush that contained 3 separate wasp nests. My body feels like it is on fire and the snake is now in my chook shed, refusing to leave. FML
Today, a wasp somehow got into my parents' house, so I went hunting for it with my dad. I found it and, after getting into position, took a strong swing at it with a fly swatter. Unfortunately, being very uncoordinated, I missed. You can figure out the rest. FML
Today, I went to clean my roof when something buzzed by my head and a sting hit my neck. It turns out there's a small nest of, like, five hornets just chilling outside of my window. I found a dead one on the desk in my bedroom. FML
Today, in a desperate bid to avoid going to the doctor, my young son ran into and hid inside a cactus garden. I had to drag him out. FML
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Top comments
Noah197099 17
Easy solution: Buy a cactus and beat him with it.
Hiimhaileypotter 53
Your brother is not a very nice person. Glad you aren't allergic and didn't die!
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Comments (63)
vlalam 24
total inconsiderate dick.. yup that's what ur brother is.. sorry OP
BlindlyWandering 17
That's the kind of fun me and my two younger brothers would have. Man we did some dangerous and PAINFUL shit. A broken bone was not an uncommon result of our "games". I loved it. XD
grimpeeper 13
Brotherly love.
thejonac 21
time for a fire ants treat in bed, brother
Leenah_93 11
I'd definitely do that if my own brother did that to me. Especially since he's got a phobia from ants. That ought to teach him a lesson he'll never forget >:)
ThatOneLazyChick 9
That's probably one of the worst forms of torture I've ever heard of
the_advanced 1
if I were you, i would literally kill him. that's beyond ****** up on his part...you could have died.
MzZombicidal 36
So because she COULD have died, she should literally KILL him? Nope nope nope. She should just kick his ass and call it even.
nialls_girl 13
Wow, your brother is a dousche. Sorry OP. Get well soon, and see if you can get steriods from your doctor to reduce the swelling.
Danise_123 9
if im in immense pain instead of resting I'd go on fml to share my tragedy with the rest of the world too.
Sparta2424 10
Your brother sounds like a jackass. Although im sure your going to be in pain i hope you have a wonderful Christmas.
Parvati48 15
Sorry OP, that's both funny and horrible at the same time. :/