Anonymous
🌶️ Spicy
Lost in translation
Today, I had to explain to my Romanian colleague that, no, a cat flap is not a euphemism for a vagina. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
foreveralone
Cardiff, United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy
That old chestnut
Today, I was trying to convince my flatmate to agree to let me get us a kitten. After gushing about how cute they are, and showing her loads of pictures, she just stared at me and said, "You really need a penis inside you now and again." FML
A good cat owner
United States
My pride and joy
Today, I had to explain to another person that my cat is not morbidly obese, he just looks really fat when he lays down. FML
Anonymous
Brisbane, Australia 🌶️ Spicy
Bad women's anatomy
Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend that me switching to "super" sized tampons does not mean I've been having sex with other men with bigger penises, and that my vagina hasn't been "stretched bigger". FML
Anonymous
United Kingdom
Today, my cousin came to visit from America. While out shopping, she said loudly that she was having trouble finding clothes to fit around her huge fanny, causing a lot of people to stare in our direction. I had to explain to her that "fanny" in the UK means "vagina." FML
Anonymous
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I was explaining the inner parts of a vagina and how they work. To my boyfriend. FML
o_O
Bowling Green, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I took my cat to the vet. The creepy vet looked me in the eyes and said, "This isn't the only pussy I'll be checking out today." FML
Anonymous
Liverpool, United States
Homeschooling claims another victim
Today, I, a 33 year-old guy, had to explain to my 27 year-old girlfriend that she does NOT pee out of her vaginal opening, but does in fact have a separate hole she pees from. She didn’t believe me. After showing her a diagram of the female anatomy online, she said, “Yeah well I don’t have one of those.” FML
Marina
Bolton, United Kingdom
Small talk
Today, I was in bar and got talking to a guy next to me, who turned out to be American, which is quite exotic in my part of the UK. During the conversation, he mentioned being a vet, so I went on a long tangent about my cat's diarrhoea and asked him for advice. He let me babble on for ages before smiling and saying, "Not that kind of vet." FML
rufusthepenis
United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy
Twins
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting frisky. She got my cock out, stopped, and told me it looked like "Rufus the naked mole rat." She spent the next 20 minutes showing me pictures, describing in detail why they looked similar, and laughing. FML
Anonymous
Germany
Rulers of the world
Today, my mom insists on leaving both the front and kitchen door open in case the cat comes home, no matter if it gets cold inside. Yes, the cat is that important. Yes, he also has a cat flap. FML
Top comments
91hayek 31
Now it is. You can't make me not use it.
gracehi 33
On behalf of FML commenters, please thank your Romanian colleague for giving us this delightful new euphemism. Cat flap. Heh heh.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (60)
91hayek 31
Now it is. You can't make me not use it.
Swellswellswell 17
It is a good phrase to use!
Jared900DUmpling 30
Not gonna lie, this sounds like a fun term to use :D
Dinonick 15
Huh.....that actually sounds like it should be a euphemism.....I mean i'm glad it isn't because we have WAY to many euphemisms for that but i'm kinda surprised that isn't one of them
RodzillaX 30
We can never have too many euphemisms.
laden_swallow09 35
Doncha just love English? Almost anything can be used in a sexual euphemism! You know what? No. EVERYTHING can be used as a sexual euphemism! Yeah!
tantanpanda 26
Cat trap, meat curtains, hoo ha; the list could go on, just add more.
leafynitemare 24
"meat curtains" killed me
allykaymorris 24
I just like that the word euphemism was correctly used here.
gracehi 33
On behalf of FML commenters, please thank your Romanian colleague for giving us this delightful new euphemism. Cat flap. Heh heh.
Cely988 29
I'm Romanian and I didn't think of that. I missed the opportunity :(
buckdharma 38
No, that would be your pussy portal.
countryb_cth 38
That's even better than cat flap. You actually made me laugh out loud from this comment. I now want to use pussy portal in every conversation I have.
7and7is 20
I agree. It's not, but it should be.
illuminotea 6
It should be
dyscomonkee 12
What is a cat flap?
False_Stupidity 42
As of now, a ******. Thanks to OP's Romanian colleague. ;)
PenguinsLaugh 24
I would normally redirect you to this wonderful thing called Google, but I'm feeling generous. A cat flap is another term for pet door.
hoosierholla 17
I've never heard a pet door been referred to as a "cat flap."
DoomSkuller 28
I've heard it called a dog flap I guess cat flap isn't far from that
LittleRich 10
It is the technical term for the ****** Flaps
restinpepperonis 13
How was this not a thing?
fakedsincerity 32
Anything is a euphemism if you try hard enough.