Anonymous
🌶️ Spicy
Lost in translation
Today, I had to explain to my Romanian colleague that, no, a cat flap is not a euphemism for a vagina. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
foreveralone
Cardiff, United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy
That old chestnut
Today, I was trying to convince my flatmate to agree to let me get us a kitten. After gushing about how cute they are, and showing her loads of pictures, she just stared at me and said, "You really need a penis inside you now and again." FML
A good cat owner
United States
My pride and joy
Today, I had to explain to another person that my cat is not morbidly obese, he just looks really fat when he lays down. FML
Anonymous
Brisbane, Australia 🌶️ Spicy
Bad women's anatomy
Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend that me switching to "super" sized tampons does not mean I've been having sex with other men with bigger penises, and that my vagina hasn't been "stretched bigger". FML
Anonymous
United Kingdom
Today, my cousin came to visit from America. While out shopping, she said loudly that she was having trouble finding clothes to fit around her huge fanny, causing a lot of people to stare in our direction. I had to explain to her that "fanny" in the UK means "vagina." FML
Anonymous
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I was explaining the inner parts of a vagina and how they work. To my boyfriend. FML
o_O
Bowling Green, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I took my cat to the vet. The creepy vet looked me in the eyes and said, "This isn't the only pussy I'll be checking out today." FML
Anonymous
Liverpool, United States
Homeschooling claims another victim
Today, I, a 33 year-old guy, had to explain to my 27 year-old girlfriend that she does NOT pee out of her vaginal opening, but does in fact have a separate hole she pees from. She didn’t believe me. After showing her a diagram of the female anatomy online, she said, “Yeah well I don’t have one of those.” FML
Marina
Bolton, United Kingdom
Small talk
Today, I was in bar and got talking to a guy next to me, who turned out to be American, which is quite exotic in my part of the UK. During the conversation, he mentioned being a vet, so I went on a long tangent about my cat's diarrhoea and asked him for advice. He let me babble on for ages before smiling and saying, "Not that kind of vet." FML
rufusthepenis
United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy
Twins
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting frisky. She got my cock out, stopped, and told me it looked like "Rufus the naked mole rat." She spent the next 20 minutes showing me pictures, describing in detail why they looked similar, and laughing. FML
Anonymous
Germany
Rulers of the world
Today, my mom insists on leaving both the front and kitchen door open in case the cat comes home, no matter if it gets cold inside. Yes, the cat is that important. Yes, he also has a cat flap. FML
Top comments
91hayek 31
Now it is. You can't make me not use it.
gracehi 33
On behalf of FML commenters, please thank your Romanian colleague for giving us this delightful new euphemism. Cat flap. Heh heh.
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Comments (60)
chxkira 14
Definitely going to use that now lol
unsealingkale 18
Honestly, it works great. Because pussy
courtney_leath 14
That's actually really hilarious and clever.
morgball10 4
debatable
SpawnofAthena 16
Ahaha!!!!
willsnow18 11
if you wish darling
MrZsDad 19
Isn't the english language awesome?
kainpwnsu 19
Curious to know how embarrassed your colleague was to hear about the nature of your cat flap. Embarrassed = OK. Inquisitive = creep.
SomehowDiffrent 1
I am that Romanian colleague...
sakurabloom 12
this is the first FML to actually make me laugh uncontrollably. props to your colleague.