Today, I went to visit my great-grandma. I saw that her dog had this red fluid on his ear, so I asked my grandma about it. She said she put red finger nail-polish in his ear so she could tell the difference between 'all' of her dogs. She only has one dog. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to visit my grandpa. He has an easily excited dog, who barreled into my freshly broken knee. I felt my knee move out of place again. The dog chipped a tooth. We went to the vet first. FML
Today, I picked my dog up and nibbled her ear. On the tip of her ear was a large tick, which burst, sending blood into my mouth. FML
Today, I was visiting my grandma who has a beagle named Max. He was so excited to see me, he jumped on my face and peed. FML
Today, I laughed at my grandma's chihuahua poodle mix, as it barked at me entering the house. "What are you going to do, nibble me to death?" is apparently enough to make it jump and bite me. I needed five stitches. FML
Today, I went to get my friend a drink while she sat in the lounge watching TV with my dog. When I came back, I found her licking my dogs ears. She said he dared her to do it. FML
Today, my girlfriend, her grandma, and I were leaving her house to eat lunch. I stubbed my toe on the door while exiting. It hurt, so I stood there shortly in pain. I heard my girlfriend's grandma call me a "pansy". I later saw blood and took off my shoe. My whole toenail had come off of my big toe. FML
Today, my dog showed me her latest kill. Too bad it was the stuffed animals my dead grandmother had given me as a child that had a lot of sentimental value to me. FML
Today, my girlfriend came over to meet my parents. Everything was going fine until she said she owned a dog. My mom then immediately attempted to check her scalp for lice. FML
Today, my grandparents came over to visit. I'm still not sure if they came to see me or my dog. FML
Today, the woman giving me a manicure found a booger under one of my fingernails. FML
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Top comments
genesisnirvana 11
she's old.she's crazy.it makes sense.
ambowew 7
It's a subtle hint that you're the second dog in that household. I advise you to check your ear - I'm sure she marked you in your sleep.
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Comments (129)
Person1233 13
AT LEAST I DONT HAVE ALZHEIMER'S!
wordnerd42 0
Nope, but you should check your hearing aid. You're yelling a bit.
EZ2XLR8 7
Give her a break... she's old. Someday that could be you, we're all going to get old whether we like it or not. Be nice.
m0nicaa055 0
wtf...
HeroOfTime13 0
xD stories about seniors are always delussional and funny
BIEBERSLAYER 10
is there nail polish on the coffee table too?
Archie92 0
OP you're stupid. This does not fck up your life in any way, shape, or form. -_-
Rick_Rolld 0
That's more of an 'FML' for her, and a win for you, because you can make fun of her.
Eorlas 31
that is extremely dangerous and potentially fatal. she should not be caring for anything.
b00z3nw33d 0
that is hilarious.
The_Commentor_ 6
This is more of a Fu*k Her Life.