Today, I went to visit my great-grandma. I saw that her dog had this red fluid on his ear, so I asked my grandma about it. She said she put red finger nail-polish in his ear so she could tell the difference between 'all' of her dogs. She only has one dog. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to visit my grandpa. He has an easily excited dog, who barreled into my freshly broken knee. I felt my knee move out of place again. The dog chipped a tooth. We went to the vet first. FML
Today, I picked my dog up and nibbled her ear. On the tip of her ear was a large tick, which burst, sending blood into my mouth. FML
Today, I was visiting my grandma who has a beagle named Max. He was so excited to see me, he jumped on my face and peed. FML
Today, I laughed at my grandma's chihuahua poodle mix, as it barked at me entering the house. "What are you going to do, nibble me to death?" is apparently enough to make it jump and bite me. I needed five stitches. FML
Today, I went to get my friend a drink while she sat in the lounge watching TV with my dog. When I came back, I found her licking my dogs ears. She said he dared her to do it. FML
Today, my girlfriend, her grandma, and I were leaving her house to eat lunch. I stubbed my toe on the door while exiting. It hurt, so I stood there shortly in pain. I heard my girlfriend's grandma call me a "pansy". I later saw blood and took off my shoe. My whole toenail had come off of my big toe. FML
Today, my dog showed me her latest kill. Too bad it was the stuffed animals my dead grandmother had given me as a child that had a lot of sentimental value to me. FML
Today, my girlfriend came over to meet my parents. Everything was going fine until she said she owned a dog. My mom then immediately attempted to check her scalp for lice. FML
Today, my grandparents came over to visit. I'm still not sure if they came to see me or my dog. FML
Today, the woman giving me a manicure found a booger under one of my fingernails. FML
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Top comments
genesisnirvana 11
she's old.she's crazy.it makes sense.
ambowew 7
It's a subtle hint that you're the second dog in that household. I advise you to check your ear - I'm sure she marked you in your sleep.
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Comments (129)
Musickal 16
Wait, why on EARTH was my comment moderated? I was merely curious as to why someone would feel F'd by the (harmless) antics of an aging person. :/ Seriously? Why was MY carefully worded and thought-out comment moderated when comments on an FML about a mother-in-law unwittingly shredding their daughter's work containing such gems as, "Kill the dumb bitch," get past?
Lizza330 28
I'm waiting for this to get moderated…
Lizza330 28
…I didn't comment on my own post.
akd1v 0
time to put her ass in a home
giveitdub 0
Indeed!
Musickal 16
She could already be in a home! Some "homes" allow pets. :D
BigWiggly 0
I feel like bringing her whole body would be more effective than just her ass.
darkness4dummies 0
sounds like something my mom would do
kut19 6
why is this your fml? it should be granny's fml.
Musickal 16
I totally agree with you! *grumbles* But when I posted that, I was moderated because "invalidating someone else's FML isn't the point".
DocBastard 40
So she did it to tell the difference between all of her dog?
Rynow 7
Parts of the dog all look the same. Red in the ear, blue in the eye
Livinia 11
I'm guessing you and your grandma are all the other dogs.
coltsrock37 15
if not, the problem must really be dogging her
JoeyPterodactyl 0
Wow, how's your life going to recover?
cooluka 0
why is this so bad for you to put it on FML? she is old thats all
namhowell 6
My thought exactly!
shadowsofthefall 0
so how is that a fml
finalyearsofhate 22
she probably has dementia and needs medication to stop the progression. you need to bring his up with your family, not fml. you have NO idea what's in store for you.