Today, I got stung by a bee. On my eyelid. I'm allergic so it's swollen up so much, I can't even open my eye. Tomorrow is the first day of a new prestigious school. I either have to go to school wearing an eye-patch or walk around looking like a monster. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I scratched my cornea and have to wear a large bandage covering my eye. I'm off today, but I'll probably have to wear it to school tomorrow. FML
Today, I started my job as an assistant to a beekeeper. I forgot to put gloves on, and got stung like crazy. My hands swelled up to the size of baseball gloves. Turns out, I'm allergic to bees. FML
Today, there must have been a wasp clinging to my front door because when I walked outside, it dropped between my glasses and my face and began stinging me all around my eye. I don't know if my eye is more swollen from the stings or from me repeatedly punching myself in the face. FML
Today, I woke up with my eye swollen half shut. To spare the embarrassment, I asked my mom if I could stay home from school. She said no, but also attempted to make me feel better by saying that with my eye, my acne was unnoticeable. FML
Today, I woke up with a pimple on my eyelid. Not only is it impossible to cover up with makeup, I can't pop it either. Now I'll be spending the rest of the day trying not to blink. FML
Today, I got up feeling refreshed and positive for the first time in ages, so I happily threw my window open to greet the beautiful morning. A bee flew into my eye. FML
Today, I went to the eye doctor. He tells me that I've developed a severe allergy to contact lenses and must stop wearing them immediately. It wouldn't be so bad if I hadn't just visited him a week earlier, paid for a new prescription and ordered a year's worth of brand new lenses. FML
Today, I was attempting to tame my bushy eyebrows, since I'm starting a new job in a few days and need to look somewhat presentable, when I poked myself in the eye. Hard. I thought I’d blinded myself for a few moments. Now it’s just red, sore and watery. FML
Today, I was riding my motorcycle on the highway and wearing all of my gear - boots, gloves, jacket, and full-face helmet. Somehow a bee found the only spot not covered on my body and stung my neck. I'm allergic to bees. FML
Today, I started my brand new job. I was late because while repairing my favorite pair of high heels, I got Superglue in my eye. They had to scrape my cornea and I have to wear an eye patch. I'm now the "New pirate" in the office. FML
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Top comments
Shock98 0
wear an eye-patch. they'll think you're super badass.
wildfire393 0
Pirates are automatic win. Trust me.
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Comments (247)
ghostgirll 0
go with the eyepatch, definitely. at least people will ask you what happened instead of seeing your eye, being disgusted, and not even wanting to know.
DomyDamsy 0
u should do both, wear an eye patch on the wrong eye, then theyll wonder how bad ur other eye is and u get out of working because u cant see
Pinkyyy 1
Go with the eye patch. Pirates are way cooler than monsters.
robinhoood 0
Go with the patch. It'll look distinguished and interesting :)
lacedheadbands 0
just wear sunglasses.
HeroicDude 0
Go with the eyepatch, they're badass. Also, tell everyone your name is Snake.
zzzallday 0
"Oh no, I have to go to a nice school. With this injury, people won't be attracted to me until the swelling goes down." That sucks dude, having a nice education is the worst. But all sarcasm aside, go with the eyepatch. Make sure it's a legitimate pirate style one that has a string around your head, none of this new sticky shit.
deardaniel_fml 0
how were you able to type this then? lol..
deardaniel_fml 0
how were you able to type this then? lol..
flippinsweet17 0
He still had one eye, you douche. And OP, go dressed as a pirate. The whole nine yards. Get a hook, black pants, striped shirt. Bandana, some bling, and a Captain pirate hat, if possible. It'll be a great way to make friends since you're new to the school. :P :P
lovexinstead 0
I wish I could favourite that comment. lmao.
samman92 1
that hella sucks.......