Today, I got stung by a bee. On my eyelid. I'm allergic so it's swollen up so much, I can't even open my eye. Tomorrow is the first day of a new prestigious school. I either have to go to school wearing an eye-patch or walk around looking like a monster. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I scratched my cornea and have to wear a large bandage covering my eye. I'm off today, but I'll probably have to wear it to school tomorrow. FML
Today, I started my job as an assistant to a beekeeper. I forgot to put gloves on, and got stung like crazy. My hands swelled up to the size of baseball gloves. Turns out, I'm allergic to bees. FML
Today, there must have been a wasp clinging to my front door because when I walked outside, it dropped between my glasses and my face and began stinging me all around my eye. I don't know if my eye is more swollen from the stings or from me repeatedly punching myself in the face. FML
Today, I woke up with my eye swollen half shut. To spare the embarrassment, I asked my mom if I could stay home from school. She said no, but also attempted to make me feel better by saying that with my eye, my acne was unnoticeable. FML
Today, I woke up with a pimple on my eyelid. Not only is it impossible to cover up with makeup, I can't pop it either. Now I'll be spending the rest of the day trying not to blink. FML
Today, I got up feeling refreshed and positive for the first time in ages, so I happily threw my window open to greet the beautiful morning. A bee flew into my eye. FML
Today, I went to the eye doctor. He tells me that I've developed a severe allergy to contact lenses and must stop wearing them immediately. It wouldn't be so bad if I hadn't just visited him a week earlier, paid for a new prescription and ordered a year's worth of brand new lenses. FML
Today, I was attempting to tame my bushy eyebrows, since I'm starting a new job in a few days and need to look somewhat presentable, when I poked myself in the eye. Hard. I thought I’d blinded myself for a few moments. Now it’s just red, sore and watery. FML
Today, I was riding my motorcycle on the highway and wearing all of my gear - boots, gloves, jacket, and full-face helmet. Somehow a bee found the only spot not covered on my body and stung my neck. I'm allergic to bees. FML
Today, I started my brand new job. I was late because while repairing my favorite pair of high heels, I got Superglue in my eye. They had to scrape my cornea and I have to wear an eye patch. I'm now the "New pirate" in the office. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Shock98 0
wear an eye-patch. they'll think you're super badass.
wildfire393 0
Pirates are automatic win. Trust me.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (247)
smpat04 0
I'm with 175-- get a parrot to go with it.
xxfallenangelxx_fml 0
go with the patch! =] =0 sorry bout ur eye tho
Liam_Vile 5
I think having an eyepatch makes an awesome first impression on people. Eyepatches are awesome.
_THE_MASTER_ 0
get a patch!!! great conversation starter!!!
_THE_MASTER_ 0
seriously. eyepatch. tell everyone that your terrible accident happened one fateful day about a year ago and leave it at that for a few weeks... then eventually, break down, dramatically relive an amazing game of scrabble gone awry, which ends with you looking for your eye.
juliuscaesarftw 0
Is that 'prestigious school' Ouran Academy???? :D
evlbb2 2
Eye patch eye patch eye patch :D Eye patches are awesome. You will so be the coolest kid there. UnFYL.
actorkidrox 0
Or you can wear the eyepatch and take it off at odd intervals during the day. Pirate Monster for the win
purplepickle 0
why dont you just wear dark sunglasses and if your teacher asks you to take it off, then show them your monster eye
Supaspydaman 0
Boo-hoo! Wear your pirate eye patch and stfu!
wretcheddawn 0
ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!