Today, I have to use toilet paper as a substitute for Kleenex, because I have a nasty cold and ran out. We're also snowed in where I live, so I currently can't go to the store to get some more. I think I now understand why people were hoarding this stuff. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, in desperate need of a shit, I quickly ran into a shop to buy toilet paper. I rushed home and unleashed, only to realise I'd bought paper towels. Without options, I had to wipe my ass with them and consequently blocked the toilet. I found rolls of toilet paper while looking for the plunger. FML
Today, I was in the bathroom at the mall and the toilet paper had ran out. I had to use the socks I'd just bought. FML
Today, I forgot to grab toilet paper on the way home from work. Since I don't have a car and all of my friends have plans for Valentine's Day I'm now down to wiping with cotton balls. FML
Today, the midwest blizzard hit my town, burying the roads in snow. All the local stores are closed. I'm not only currently on my period, but I'm out of pads and toilet paper. FML
Today, I had to drive over an hour away to buy toilet paper. FML
Today, I used the last of the toilet paper to blow my nose while taking a dump. FML
Today, I have a bad cold, so I've been carrying tissues around with me. I noticed our puppy had pooped on the floor, so I grabbed a napkin and cleaned it up, then threw it away. I then blew my nose with my tissue. Apparently, I threw away my tissue and used the napkin. FML
Today, while I was in a bathroom stall, the guy next to me asked me for toilet paper. It was then that I realized I didn't have any either. FML
Today, there was no toilet paper left, so I asked my grandmother if I could use her Kleenex tissues. I found out too late that they were Vicks VapoRub tissues. My crotch has been burning for the last half hour. FML
Today, I realized that the reason there is no toilet paper in the house is because both my parents are too stubborn to be the one who goes out to buy more. It's been five days. FML
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Top comments
Yudith 28
Before you run out of toilet paper, there are several things you may try. First, try the good old watering can method; you fill up a watering can, you sit on the toilet, you do your thing, you water your tushie with the watering can, and you dry your tushie with a dry washcloth. Second, blow your nose while in the shower; it saves Kleenex, you can wash your hands right after, and the running shower cleans itself. Third, eat spicy food to clean up your nose, preferably before your shower. Good luck!
jlc82 14
they sure weren't hoarding it because they got snowed in. they were hoarding it cause they were (and probably still are) a bunch of greedy profiteering bastards
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Comments (2)
Yudith 28
Before you run out of toilet paper, there are several things you may try. First, try the good old watering can method; you fill up a watering can, you sit on the toilet, you do your thing, you water your tushie with the watering can, and you dry your tushie with a dry washcloth. Second, blow your nose while in the shower; it saves Kleenex, you can wash your hands right after, and the running shower cleans itself. Third, eat spicy food to clean up your nose, preferably before your shower. Good luck!
jlc82 14
they sure weren't hoarding it because they got snowed in. they were hoarding it cause they were (and probably still are) a bunch of greedy profiteering bastards