Today, I found out my son has a new hobby after seeing a picture on the internet: putting realistic-looking stickers of spiders at the bottom of my coffee mugs. My wife was scared half to death this morning after downing a cup of coffee and then glancing the cup's bottom. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I emptied the morning coffee grounds from the coffee maker so I could set it up for tomorrow morning. When I threw out the filter, something in the grounds caught my eye. It was a dead spider. It had brewed with my coffee that morning. I also happen to be severely arachnophobic. FML
Today, I had made a cup of my favorite coffee, which I had recently found to be discontinued. To accompany this last cup, I went to get a muffin. As I turned around, I see my son pouring the cup out because I out put it next to the sink and he thought it was dirty. FML
Today, my son learned that when you slide a mug across the kitchen table, it doesn't stop where you expect it to like in the old cartoons. I then learned what it feels like to have a full mug of hot chocolate spilled onto my crotch. FML
Today, my daughter asked me if we could make sticker art. Of course I said it was OK so she went to get some stickers. I wondered where she was going when she walked into the bathroom, but I didn't ask. I left the room and when I came back, her paper was blank and my pads were stuck to the wall. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of birds chirping, had a wonderful cup of coffee, and found my son throwing up rubbing alcohol in the bathroom. FML
Today, my son nearly burned the house down with a lighter and an aerosol. His excuse? He was killing a massive spider carrying an egg sack. My wife hates spiders so she refuses to punish him and gave him £20. But sure, dear old Dad will spend money replacing the wallpaper and curtains, no problem. FML
Today, I was sitting on the couch watching TV when I felt something crack on my head. My 6 year-old son had just smashed an egg into my hair. When I asked why, he said, "Mom does it for TikTok." This is how I found out that my wife has been "pranking" him for likes, and thinks it's hilarious. FML
Today, I was reaching into the floor vent in my toddler's room to retrieve some toys she'd dropped. What I found instead was a clump of large dead spiders. FML
Today, my daughter found a bag of googly eyes I'd bought for a craft project I'd completely forgot about. She spent the day sticking them on random objects around the house. I now have a microwave that looks like it’s judging me for using it too much instead of actually cooking. FML
Today, I was cleaning my lazy son’s bedroom when I knocked a full cup out the window, complete with a layer of mould. It landed on the dog, covering him in mouldy, milky coffee. He ran inside, shook it off everywhere, then rolled around to really make sure it was smushed deep into the carpet fibres. FML
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Top comments
sarkaar 30
He likes to spin his web of deceit.
Stheno 14
haha he's got a good sense of humour :).
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Comments (65)
sarkaar 30
He likes to spin his web of deceit.
Roskosity 22
Must be Venom then. Spidey's much too nice for that.
Stheno 14
haha he's got a good sense of humour :).
foxwasalamb 24
most definitely. my favorite part about my mornings are when im relaxing, getting prepared for my day to come and then i get scared shitless.
badluckalex 23
I agree with #2! definitely stealing op's idea!!
Rallred32 20
Well, at least it wasn't a real spider, right?
fsomelife 26
Many creatures of evil dwell in the World Wide Web...
GotItWow 13
Tell him to stop his habits, and not to go on iFunny anymore...
nick3600 22
Ifunny is stupid
ineedagooduser 12
Your son is hilarious.
Pstraka6 20
How old is your son? If hes 10 okay that's kind of funny, now if hes 25 thennn maybe thats just be obnoxious
fsomelife 26
48, married, awaiting second grandchild.
icemand90 17
Nope. Still hilarious
Rallred32 20
I'm sorry, 48, but I don't know many people who are 48 and have grandchildren. My parents were 48 when I went highschool, so it might just be where I'm from, but that's not exactly something that's all too common. Or it's just a part of the joke, and I'm taking that comment way too seriously.
Core5555 9
#56. have a kid at 16, and when the kid is 16 she/he has a kid... at that point you could be 32 with grandchildren. My ex-sister-in-law was 32 when her son had his first kid. And she was 34 when he had the second grandkid. All kinds of stupid was going on there. Just thank your stars for growing up where stupid isn't the most common denominator.
Rallred32 20
58, I was actually thinking about people having kids at sixteen, and I really am thanking my lucky stars.
BoltTheSuperdog 22
On the other hand, if the coffee wasn't enough, I'll bet your wife was extra wide-awake after she noticed the spider!
foxwasalamb 24
so much evil..
JuzReading 23
Reminds me of that meme "That's the evilest thing I can imagine."
foxwasalamb 24
if only we could comment with pics. but then this would be ifunny.
amanduhweezy 5
That's actually kind of an awesome prank. You would have to make sure to pour the coffee for the person you were pranking so they didn't see it prematurely.
JuzReading 23
Every arachnophobe's nightmare...