Today, I came home from work tired and horny, and asked my girlfriend if she wanted to go make love. While all she had done all day is lay on the couch and watch television, she said, "I'm too tired, why don't you just go into the bathroom and grab a quick wank." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was in the mood for morning sex, but my wife told me to go wank it off in the bathroom. Three minutes later I was mid-wank when she started banging on the door because I was taking too long, and she needed to pee. FML
Today, my girl came home and said, "I'm gonna jump in the shower, I'm horny as fuck." Naturally, I assumed that was an invitation, so I lit some candles quickly and hopped on the bed, waiting for her. She got out, looked at me funny and said, "The fuck are you doing? I want to masturbate. Get out." FML
Today, my wife told me she was very horny as we have not had sex in about two weeks, so I told her to do something for me to get me in the mood. She sighed and then went upstairs to get ready for work. FML
Today, I was dead tired and just wanted sleep, so I jumped into bed the second the day's chores were done. Of fucking course, this was the day my fiancée decided to end our eight-week dry spell and came in wearing sexy lingerie. I couldn't stay hard due to exhaustion, and now she's been crying. FML
Today, I got home and I was feeling horny so I leapt on my boyfriend, except he had just got home from a 16-hour day and was too tired. After his nap, he was horny but by that time I was way too tired and no longer horny. This is ridiculous, we can’t even get laid even though we live together. FML
Today, I came home from working twelve hours straight. Feeling rather frisky, I attempted to seduce my wife upon arriving home. She said that sleep was better than sex and went directly to bed. It was only 6:30 PM. FML
Today my wife told me she really wanted to have sex, and to wait in bed while she got ready. Turns out get ready means do the dishes, feed the dogs, clean the cat's litter tray, phone her sister, make coffee, shower, and wait for the dryer to dry her pyjamas. By the time she got in bed, I'd fallen asleep. FML
Today, I began to undress my wife, who was watching TV, and gave her a massage to relax her while she watched her soap. 20 minutes later, when the programme came to an end, she said "I wish you'd let me watch TV in peace!". FML
Today, my boyfriend said he was too tired to have sex with me because he'd spent the whole day jerking off. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I haven't had sex for a long time, so when she got out of the shower I was ready on our bed to finally do it. Her response? "Really? Now? I just got out of the shower." FML
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Top comments
abes22 0
should have asked her to come help you..
jasminea 0
show her how tired she really is (;
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Comments (261)
bycf 0
That's too bad man.... Environment n mood not right....
Sammydubbs 2
Agreed :)
VeganVampyre 27
This website has hundreds *rolls eyes* You just have to try and find the one that actually has good advice.
VeganVampyre 27
By the way, Sirina, that was not referring to you. I quite like what you said, actually.
DeathBunny218 37
Maybe she WAS too tired to do anything other than lay on the couch and watch tv all day. Some days that's all i do and i'm still tired at the end of the day because my body has had no stimulation to wake it up, and if you're tired as well why not just join her on the couch and relax.
perdix 31
Hope you are enjoying your preview to marriage. Now, you can legally have sex with any other woman you want and not lose half your stuff. I hope you are not thinking about putting a ring on that frigid slug. She's not doing nothing all day. The question isn't what's she is doing, but who.
simplylost643 0
Amen, Perdix! If more men had your wisdom the world would be a more tolerable place. Losing half your possessions to someone who's spent your entire marriage sitting on their ass denying their partner sex is a bitter, bitter pill to swallow.
V19Spartan 1
Wank on her
xXRiah_GirlXx 9
giggity
sylphy 0
That's life! Wank and stop moaning. Wait, let me try that again--
xlord 27
Hey you can pay for things to be done wrong as well... Whatever makes you happy :D
epicily 0
U must me **** ugly