Today, I woke up after a night of drinking to find that while I was passed out someone stole my prosthetic leg. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up to a tap on my shoulder and had no idea where I was. I quickly discovered It was 11 am and I was still at the bar I had been drinking at the night before. My shoes were gone. FML
Today, I was robbed while recovering from a robbery. FML
Today, after quite a long work day, I got home to find my house had been broken into. Everything but my sleeping boyfriend was gone. FML
Today, after a night of heavy drinking, I woke up handcuffed to my bed. My friends who are responsible for this think it's hilarious and claimed not to remember where they put the keys. They took pictures, then left. FML
Today, I woke up after a night of drinking in my backyard. All I was wearing were my boxers and one sock. I staggered up to see my car halfway through my garage wall, with a note saying, "Sorry dude". FML
Today, I was drunk and broke my leg. I called 911, only for the cops to turn up and make me try to walk, with them saying that I was faking my injury. They arrested me for being drunk in public and hours later I finally got to an ER. I had to have surgery on my leg. FML
Today, I woke up to find out my house was robbed. He didn't steal anything of value, but he stole my beer, dog, and cat. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of my car being stolen. FML
Today, I fell asleep on the couch and woke up to find that I had slept through my house getting robbed. FML
Today, I was over at a friend's place until very late. He had stolen my keys as a joke at some point, but by the time I noticed, he was too drunk to remember where he'd hidden them. FML
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Top comments
loserboii 11
You sure someone isn't pulling your leg?
BatteryAddict 11
Are you sure? You might've just misplaced it. Drunk people tend to do that.
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Comments (152)
crazytwinsmom 25
Look for a phone number. The one night stand took it to make sure OP would call her.
bubblegumrebel 2
Hey, now you have a better reason to explain why you're stumbling around.
BrandyPuppy27 0
That sucks. Those things are expensive.
RuCheezBurger 10
How do you know the problems solved? :o
krazyapples9 4
This is exactly like that episode of My Name is Earl.
breathemein 10
I giggled
maddygirl820 10
That's an interesting report to the police
Rumbelle_fml 22
Brings a whole new meaning to the term "He was completely f*cking legless". ;)
hellproof023 6
Guess you give limping with a hangover a whole new meaning..
rhidiculous 4
the leg got pirated