Today, someone tried to mug me. I panicked and ran. As they chased me with their knife out, I heard a slip and a shout behind me but kept running. Six blocks later I was spotted, arrested, and held for questioning by the police. The mugger fell, stabbed themselves, and told a cop that I did it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was mugged. I saw a cop car in the aftermath and flagged it down. Unfortunately, when the cops stopped the mugger, he said he'd been running away because I tried to mug him. Apparently the fact that he was "well-dressed" and I wasn't means he was telling the truth. FML
Today, a man tried to mug me. I actually apologized to him for not having my wallet on me. FML
Today, I was walking down the street in the dark, and the woman in front of me kept looking back nervously. I jokingly assured her that I wasn't a mugger. She then took out a knife and mugged me. FML
Today, someone was getting beat up by 6 guys. When I tried to help, they had a swing at me as well. The cops came when I was enthusiastically defending myself. They got away, I got arrested. FML
Today, I was walking home with my boyfriend, when a guy pulled a knife and told us to hand over our money. My boyfriend blurted "I don't have shit, dude! She has tons of cash!" The moment the mugger turned to me, my boyfriend ran away at top speed. FML
Today, I was was leaving the library when I noticed an elderly woman being mugged. I was about to leave on my bike, but promptly went to help her. After I managed to scare off the mugger, I helped her to her car. As I was heading back to my bike, I notice the mugger riding off on it. FML
Today, I witnessed a robbery as a teenager ran out of a Walgreens with stolen goods in his hands. The manager was running after him. Trying to be helpful, I pulled forward to block the thief from getting away. The cops showed up and arrested me for hitting a pedestrian. FML
Today, it's been a few weeks since I deterred a would-be mugger with judicious use of a stun gun. Now he and his criminal friends are stalking me and swearing revenge. I can't afford to move and the cops are useless. FML
Today, I got mugged at work. The sad thing is I'm a cop and was trying to catch the people who mugged me previously while off duty. FML
Today, I got mugged. As the guys who took my purse were about to walk away, my cellphone rang in my pocket. FML
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Top comments
marcantonia 0
Lack of your fingerprints on the knife should show that you're innocent. I mean, it sucks. But at least they won't be lasting charges. :)
sumdoode123 0
i never get why some people put YDI. There is no way that this person deserves it. So yeah. FYL.
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Comments (74)
habaji 0
hahahah what the ****? this is not true.. IF it were, they would do investigations they're not going to be like, oh yeah that guy says you killed him - LIFE SENTENCE seriously.
arod757 0
Didn't realize he was from Australia. Definitely FYL when your government takes away your right to protect yourself.
stain33319 0
FAKE!!!! if it were real then he's telling a story that at least a year old cause that's the min. amount of time he was in jail. if he was in jail for all that time for STABING someone . do ya think he's talking to fml
Tequilamockngbrd 7
Who said he got a jail sentence? He was questioned and most likely let off the hook due to a lack of evidence to prove that he did it.
alijacket 0
#62, you can't go to jail for STABING someone. sorry.
ohmanz 0
#66 >.> where the hell do u come from? u can go to prision for assault with a deadly weapon
Jizzylol 0
you cant go to jail for stabing someone cos stabing isn't a word
Lintriel 0
wow, im sorry. but hey! its just like To Kill a Mockingbird lol.
DirtyDiana_fml 0
I love how everyone keeps saying the same thing the first 30 people said. STFU.
were_giraffe 2
gave you a "i agree your life sucks" but the mugger should get a YDI serves him right for falling on his own knife. that's funny
Nakedsquirrel 5
I have the benefit of living in a place where the people most likely to attempt to mug someone and end up stabbing themselves would be completely incapable of actually convincing a cop or even a jury that the would-be victim did it to them. It's a mildly comforting feeling, knowing I can kill my attackers in self defense and have no problem proving it was self defense. Around here, you're either a goody two-shoes or a piece of shit with no morals.
Ninjaface 0
Well, that's what you get for using your telekinesis to stab a guy. Douche.
blastvortex 4
Well, aren't you lucky that your prints aren't on the weapon then? That makes it you're word against his. Unless you were wearing gloves, you're totally in the clear.
PrFirmin 0
Lol nice frag: Mugger oo|===> Mugger