Today, someone tried to mug me. I panicked and ran. As they chased me with their knife out, I heard a slip and a shout behind me but kept running. Six blocks later I was spotted, arrested, and held for questioning by the police. The mugger fell, stabbed themselves, and told a cop that I did it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was mugged. I saw a cop car in the aftermath and flagged it down. Unfortunately, when the cops stopped the mugger, he said he'd been running away because I tried to mug him. Apparently the fact that he was "well-dressed" and I wasn't means he was telling the truth. FML
Today, a man tried to mug me. I actually apologized to him for not having my wallet on me. FML
Today, I was walking down the street in the dark, and the woman in front of me kept looking back nervously. I jokingly assured her that I wasn't a mugger. She then took out a knife and mugged me. FML
Today, someone was getting beat up by 6 guys. When I tried to help, they had a swing at me as well. The cops came when I was enthusiastically defending myself. They got away, I got arrested. FML
Today, I was walking home with my boyfriend, when a guy pulled a knife and told us to hand over our money. My boyfriend blurted "I don't have shit, dude! She has tons of cash!" The moment the mugger turned to me, my boyfriend ran away at top speed. FML
Today, I was was leaving the library when I noticed an elderly woman being mugged. I was about to leave on my bike, but promptly went to help her. After I managed to scare off the mugger, I helped her to her car. As I was heading back to my bike, I notice the mugger riding off on it. FML
Today, I witnessed a robbery as a teenager ran out of a Walgreens with stolen goods in his hands. The manager was running after him. Trying to be helpful, I pulled forward to block the thief from getting away. The cops showed up and arrested me for hitting a pedestrian. FML
Today, it's been a few weeks since I deterred a would-be mugger with judicious use of a stun gun. Now he and his criminal friends are stalking me and swearing revenge. I can't afford to move and the cops are useless. FML
Today, I got mugged at work. The sad thing is I'm a cop and was trying to catch the people who mugged me previously while off duty. FML
Today, I got mugged. As the guys who took my purse were about to walk away, my cellphone rang in my pocket. FML
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Top comments
marcantonia 0
Lack of your fingerprints on the knife should show that you're innocent. I mean, it sucks. But at least they won't be lasting charges. :)
sumdoode123 0
i never get why some people put YDI. There is no way that this person deserves it. So yeah. FYL.
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Comments (74)
zezjo 3
That sucks ass
Ramos808 29
Indeed
Witchcraft_fml 5
I guess the mugger forgot that your fingerprints wouldn't be found anywhere on the knife. Ah well, hopefully he'll bleed out. One less worthless douche in the world.
perdix 31
Nice try, O. J. Just like Nicole and Ron were juggling knives, they saw you and suddenly fell on them. It worked once, but not this time.
RubixMonkey 0
He was making a manjina. He tucks it in his ass to be more aerodynamic.
Witchcraft_fml 5
Oh, that sounds sexxxy. Yum. ♥
Ramos808 29
Why did Perdix get banned?
Sickillsells 0
WTF take that fool to court, you don't want assault with a deadly weapon on your record.
chowyuk 0
the old stab someone then run and say you were mugged trick
gummibehrs 4
Find him and run him through with the knife. Earn the hate.
kisseshugsdrugs 5
one: your fingerprints are not on the knife. two: you were nowhere near the scene. three: you dont have any blood on you nor your clothing. four: forensic evidence will prove the way he was stabbed. yes annoying, but it wont go anywhere.
n8equalsd 0
Today, I was trying to mug a man. I accidentally slipped and stabbed myself. FML
Snowlight_fml 7
Look on the bright side - because of you, he got a knife through the stomach. You managed to stab a thug without even touching the blade! Gratz!
ohmanz 0
WIN!
supermike1123 0
u cant go to jail. 1, a knife wund would require blood. 2 if he fell, i would assume on his stomach, you cannot stab from under and have no blood on you (also the angle) 3. FINGERPRINTS