Today, I passed a homeless person asking for change. When I politely apologized and told him that I had none, he yelled angrily, "Who comes to this city without money?" I replied, "Apparently, you do." Wrong answer. He followed me, now screaming. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, trying to do a good deed, I gave a homeless guy a $10 bill. As I walked away, he yelled after me, "You fucking bitch!" FML
Today, while walking down the street, a homeless man walked up to me. He opened his mouth to say something and I immediately said that I didn't have any spare change because I was late for work. He then said "I was gonna ask you for the time, dickwad". Apparently he wasn't homeless. FML
Today, I came across a street musician. He looked extremely well-fed already, but his music was pretty good, so I gave him some spare change. As soon as I turned away, he started screaming at me for being "cheap", and chased me half a block before running out of breath. FML
Today, I walked to Starbucks. On the way a homeless guy asked me for change and I lied and said I had no money. On my way back, Strawberry Frappuccino in hand, the same guy recognized me. He followed me for 3 blocks, swearing and yelling at me. FML
Today, while I was walking home, a homeless man saw me and didn't ask for change, but how much I charged. FML
Today, a homeless man asked me for some money to eat. He ate the five dollars I gave him. FML
Today, I was walking down the street, when a man behind me tapped me on the shoulder. He gave a $5 bill and said that he thought I had dropped it. Not having the integrity to turn him down, I took it. I spent the next 20 minutes being chased by a crazy hobo who claimed that it was his. FML
Today, I tried to give some change to a homeless man. My girlfriend pulled me away and ranted about how homeless people are all basically bastards who deserve their misfortune, and that I shouldn't give "our" money away. FML
Today, I was accosted by an angry homeless man at the recycling center, since I refused to give him my saved up bottles and cans. He insisted that he needed it more and I was "poaching his turf". I needed the recycling to put gas in my car, just to make it to work and hope I could make it back home. FML
Today, I saw a homeless man on the street and decided to give him the dollar bill I had left in my wallet. He said "Thank you" then as I turned to walk away, he muttered "Cheap-ass cunt". FML
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Top comments
jailbot 7
I applaud your snappy comeback! I bet I'd have said the same thing, I mean, what right does a homeless man have to complain about people having no money to give him?
Dashiell 0
I heard that homeless people in prime locations can make up to $50,000 a year.
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Comments (216)
Kuroftw 0
Hahaha, that is epic.
Xerosnake90 0
Ahahaha! You are awesome.
Fisheyy 0
ROFL MODED.
aymaureen 0
LOLOL good job, braughh!
Irefusetosay 0
Score Other Person: 1 Homeless person: 0
Nakedsquirrel 5
High five for that retort, buddy.
Matticus433 0
Lmao, that is epic..amazing comeback
IAmAJellyDonut 0
YDI. It was a clever comeback, which I applaud, but it was really harsh. Maybe he was a victim of circumstance; it's not always the homeless person's fault that he is homeless. He shouldn't expect anything from you, but... YDI.
re2K5 0
Which is precisely why I was polite to him at first. I gave him the benefit of the doubt and responded in a kind, sympathetic manner. When he snapped back at me with anger and absolutely no gratitude, I realized that my initial willingness to help wasn't at all warranted. I understand that there is no way to know who is or isn't a victim of circumstance, but if that circumstance has you begging for money on the streets, you have no place to be rude to those who were willing to help if able.
Jaxro 6
Props to you, great comeback.
itsnotfair 0
best homeless man fml ever!!