Today, I passed a homeless person asking for change. When I politely apologized and told him that I had none, he yelled angrily, "Who comes to this city without money?" I replied, "Apparently, you do." Wrong answer. He followed me, now screaming. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, trying to do a good deed, I gave a homeless guy a $10 bill. As I walked away, he yelled after me, "You fucking bitch!" FML
Today, while walking down the street, a homeless man walked up to me. He opened his mouth to say something and I immediately said that I didn't have any spare change because I was late for work. He then said "I was gonna ask you for the time, dickwad". Apparently he wasn't homeless. FML
Today, I came across a street musician. He looked extremely well-fed already, but his music was pretty good, so I gave him some spare change. As soon as I turned away, he started screaming at me for being "cheap", and chased me half a block before running out of breath. FML
Today, I walked to Starbucks. On the way a homeless guy asked me for change and I lied and said I had no money. On my way back, Strawberry Frappuccino in hand, the same guy recognized me. He followed me for 3 blocks, swearing and yelling at me. FML
Today, while I was walking home, a homeless man saw me and didn't ask for change, but how much I charged. FML
Today, a homeless man asked me for some money to eat. He ate the five dollars I gave him. FML
Today, I was walking down the street, when a man behind me tapped me on the shoulder. He gave a $5 bill and said that he thought I had dropped it. Not having the integrity to turn him down, I took it. I spent the next 20 minutes being chased by a crazy hobo who claimed that it was his. FML
Today, I tried to give some change to a homeless man. My girlfriend pulled me away and ranted about how homeless people are all basically bastards who deserve their misfortune, and that I shouldn't give "our" money away. FML
Today, I was accosted by an angry homeless man at the recycling center, since I refused to give him my saved up bottles and cans. He insisted that he needed it more and I was "poaching his turf". I needed the recycling to put gas in my car, just to make it to work and hope I could make it back home. FML
Today, I saw a homeless man on the street and decided to give him the dollar bill I had left in my wallet. He said "Thank you" then as I turned to walk away, he muttered "Cheap-ass cunt". FML
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Top comments
jailbot 7
I applaud your snappy comeback! I bet I'd have said the same thing, I mean, what right does a homeless man have to complain about people having no money to give him?
Dashiell 0
I heard that homeless people in prime locations can make up to $50,000 a year.
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Comments (216)
_Noon_ 0
This isn't an FML, this is a LML'cause-I'm-hilarious. Epic answer!
_system_ 0
Dunno why he chased you, it's not like he exactly gets automatic entitlement to people's cash because he's homeless :-/
Meglawl 0
I just lol'd. xD
geetface 0
you rock
Susaluda 0
I clicked YDI, but that was totally awesome :P
ziqi92 0
GREAT REPLY!!!! so how was it being followed and yelled at by a homeless dude through the streets of a busy city in South Korea? back in china, homeless children are all over the place, begging for money with a cup
re2K5 0
Ha, it wasn't TOO bad... there were plenty of people around (as you can imagine), so I wasn't worried about him trying to assault me. I figured if he had a weapon of any kind, he would have been mugging people for money, not asking for it. :)
Luckster 0
This is on a very fine line between FML and YDI! Lovely comeback!
midwestjerk 0
You should have killed him. Hobos don't deserve to live.
xxjoexx 0
Glad someone said it.
megander 0
^^ you two appear to be soulmates.
Pink_ElePhant88 0
LMAO! That was funny :D totally made my day. That is something I would say. Not really FML more like FHL for being homeless and wanting booze and pot
skullbuster 0
You heartless ****. Haven't you heard? The hobo community is Jesus and we are all supposed to treat them like real people. Next time, save your flip remark, hand him some money, give him a hug, and let him touch you inappropriately!
Luckster 0
You can't automatically assume everyone believes in Jesus. Especially in other parts of the world where it's most likely their beliefs are entirely different from your own. And OP has already come back to comment that they don't carry cash anymore.
midwestjerk 0
The person you replied to was making a reference to another hobo FML from today.
nativebacon 0
hehe, nice