Today, while babysitting a five year-old, I found a cartoon called Metalocalypse for him to watch while I made dinner. I didn't realize it was an "adult" cartoon until afterwards. He watched a whole episode about a clown with a cocaine problem. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was babysitting for my mom's coworkers two little boys. they went to bed around 9 and I was watching a movie on HBO. I fell asleep before the movie was over. I woke up to the parents walking into the house. I looked at the TV, and porn was on. FML
Today, I was babysitting my niece and let her watch cartoons on YouTube while I cooked dinner. She screamed as I was cutting up carrots and I cut myself. She had turned on an episode of Happy Tree Friends and was now crying and wouldn't stop. My brother thumped me for not watching her. I now have a cut hand and black eye. FML
Today, I can’t get over that my husband will watch children’s movies all by himself, even though we don’t have kids. Seriously, I brought a friend over today and when we walked in he was drinking beer, watching a cartoon movie about a ladybird-themed superhero girl. It was so embarrassing. FML
Today, I was babysitting my friend's 12-year-old son while his dad was having an emergency procedure at the hospital. I walked into the den to see if he wanted to go out to dinner, only to find him watching Pornhub on my iPad. FML
Today, a noisy little kid in the bus seated behind me asked his mom loudly, "Why is that big man watching cartoons for girls?" Me and the guy next to me, who too was watching on his phone, paused for a bit. He smirked, shaking his head, laughing under his breath. He was watching anime; I was watching My Little Pony. FML
Today, my husband thought it would be acceptable to watch Breaking Bad on Netflix with my 4-year-old in the room. What happened to be the only line he picked up? "Well heil Hitler, bitch!" I found out from his preschool teacher. FML
Today, I had to babysit two kids. It all went well until one of them duct taped a knife to a toy machine gun, lit the barbecue on fire, and ran around like a wild banshee screaming obscenities. The other one got scared and climbed onto the roof of the house. FML
Today, I hired a babysitter for my two kids for the evening. When I came home, I found her sitting on the floor, crying with a full bowl of popcorn, watching a kids' movie. Apparently, my six-year-old had decided to re-enact every scene from the movie, and she couldn’t take it anymore. I had to hug her and assure her that she was doing a great job. FML
Today, I got called into the school by my daughter's teacher. Apparently my daughter informed her class that over the weekend she spent her time with her daddy watching porn stars while her mummy was at work. It took a long time to convince her they were actually watching a TV show called "Pawn Stars". FML
Today, my five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Be who you want to be, B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turned to me and said "Mom, I want to be a hooker." FML
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Top comments
stinewd 9
you're gonna be a cool parent!
crotchpheasant 0
I'm dr roxxo the rock and roll clown! I do c-c-c-cocaine! let's go get some ice c-c-c-cream and hookersss! yeahhh! this is what that kid got to hear.let's hope he doesnt ask for a hooker next time they take him for ice cream hahaha
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Comments (465)
DASmetal 0
AAAHAHAHAHAHA!! Best parenting story ever have I heard EVER! Undoubtedly the things I want to do with my offspring.
sheethapins 13
Which is why you were drugged and castrated last week ;D
DalekScythe 0
reminds me of the guy played SAW for a kids thinking it was How to Train Your Dragon.
gasbandit 2
Bad parenting is bad. Just count yourself lucky you didn't rent him a "japanese cartoon".
pink_raindrops 26
I think the child should be lucky that she's just the babysitter.
pink_raindrops 26
.
EmyB_fml 8
I'm sure he didn't undertsand what was going on. He probably doesn't even know what cocaine is... Although these days, who knows !
dinodannyrawr 5
don't be scared of a Jeffry!
sheethapins 13
Just stroke furry walls.
dinodannyrawr 5
heheh I'm gonna make a wolf house out of this!
mismonroe 0
Starting early. Early bird gets the..Cocaine.
RandomPotato 0
At least it wasn't anything about sex.
CitrusGirl 0
Actually, knowing Metalacolypse, there was probably the greatest guitarist ever (Svisgar? Can't remember how to spell it) getting it on with a GILF.
a_nutritionist 10
yeah drug use is ok, but SEX? what an unnatural disgusting thing for a child to see... even extreme violence is better, shoulda made him watch Reservoir Dogs, no smutty sex in that shit. just pure wholesome bloodshed.
sheethapins 13
Well actually, the clown loves hookers so yeah... Hookers = Sex you can pay for. I'm sure he got a whopping dose of sexual innuendos if there wasn't actual sex.
RandomPotato 0
122- I'm not saying that letting a kid watch something about drugs is better than a kid watching something about sex, but generally, parents (or at least the ones I know) would be more upset to find out that their kid watched a show about sex.
RandomPotato 0
87 and 139- Thanks. I've never seen it, so I didn't know if there would be sex or innuendos or something. I just guessed that since OP didn't mention it, there wasn't...
CitrusGirl 0
You're absolutely right though, that parents are more concerned about sex than violence. Which I think is stupid. A 5 year old shouldn't be exposed to either, but at least sex is natural
a_nutritionist 10
@284 then why was there no indication of sarcasm in your post? it looks like a pretty black and white statement to me. sounds like someone is trying to cover their ass, but if not, learn to type.
stinewd 9
be glad it wasn't hentai!
HotPants141 11
lol Love that show
Littbuff 0
Hahaha!