Today, while babysitting a five year-old, I found a cartoon called Metalocalypse for him to watch while I made dinner. I didn't realize it was an "adult" cartoon until afterwards. He watched a whole episode about a clown with a cocaine problem. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was babysitting for my mom's coworkers two little boys. they went to bed around 9 and I was watching a movie on HBO. I fell asleep before the movie was over. I woke up to the parents walking into the house. I looked at the TV, and porn was on. FML
Today, I was babysitting my niece and let her watch cartoons on YouTube while I cooked dinner. She screamed as I was cutting up carrots and I cut myself. She had turned on an episode of Happy Tree Friends and was now crying and wouldn't stop. My brother thumped me for not watching her. I now have a cut hand and black eye. FML
Today, I can’t get over that my husband will watch children’s movies all by himself, even though we don’t have kids. Seriously, I brought a friend over today and when we walked in he was drinking beer, watching a cartoon movie about a ladybird-themed superhero girl. It was so embarrassing. FML
Today, I was babysitting my friend's 12-year-old son while his dad was having an emergency procedure at the hospital. I walked into the den to see if he wanted to go out to dinner, only to find him watching Pornhub on my iPad. FML
Today, a noisy little kid in the bus seated behind me asked his mom loudly, "Why is that big man watching cartoons for girls?" Me and the guy next to me, who too was watching on his phone, paused for a bit. He smirked, shaking his head, laughing under his breath. He was watching anime; I was watching My Little Pony. FML
Today, my husband thought it would be acceptable to watch Breaking Bad on Netflix with my 4-year-old in the room. What happened to be the only line he picked up? "Well heil Hitler, bitch!" I found out from his preschool teacher. FML
Today, I had to babysit two kids. It all went well until one of them duct taped a knife to a toy machine gun, lit the barbecue on fire, and ran around like a wild banshee screaming obscenities. The other one got scared and climbed onto the roof of the house. FML
Today, I hired a babysitter for my two kids for the evening. When I came home, I found her sitting on the floor, crying with a full bowl of popcorn, watching a kids' movie. Apparently, my six-year-old had decided to re-enact every scene from the movie, and she couldn’t take it anymore. I had to hug her and assure her that she was doing a great job. FML
Today, I got called into the school by my daughter's teacher. Apparently my daughter informed her class that over the weekend she spent her time with her daddy watching porn stars while her mummy was at work. It took a long time to convince her they were actually watching a TV show called "Pawn Stars". FML
Today, my five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Be who you want to be, B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turned to me and said "Mom, I want to be a hooker." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
stinewd 9
you're gonna be a cool parent!
crotchpheasant 0
I'm dr roxxo the rock and roll clown! I do c-c-c-cocaine! let's go get some ice c-c-c-cream and hookersss! yeahhh! this is what that kid got to hear.let's hope he doesnt ask for a hooker next time they take him for ice cream hahaha
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (465)
purdyphish 3
don't all clowns have cocaine addictions? I thought that's were they got there energy from.....
FATTY_MCDOOGLE 29
I'm doctor Rockso, the rock n' roll clown. I DO COCAINE.
justbigbs 6
YES BE VERY CAREFUL WITH "CARTOONS", there's a mass genre out there just like movies, its not the good ol 80's anymore. BUT DON'T GO FREAKING OUT THAT EVERY CARTOON IS R RATED! . Watch out for really messed up Japanese Anime, there's a really good ones, and some really really messed up weird ones too. If you were thinking about good stuff for your kid, look up leap frog, sesame street, or any PBS programs. Or just give him 93-96' Spiderman cartoon, fictional but high in moral ethics, value, character, and family value, just like your typical good ol spidey neighboor.
tabasc0drumz 0
you must have saw the intro and thought this is great for children
chelseaaababyyy 17
lmaoo, ive seen that like once. i stick to aqua teen, its better(:
Glitterhinoceros 14
Aqua Teen
chelseaaababyyy 17
cool..
Bladian 5
Aqua teen? Better than Metalocalypse? NOPE.
rocker135 0
shouldve shown him the boondocks
GamerMatt97 0
u never heard of that show.u r the best baby sitter ever.
Penn2894 6
And you were watching that show how? It doesn't come on until late on [adult swim], and if you even heard or saw a couple seconds of the show you would've realized that in no way is it kid friendly. Just because a show is a cartoon doesn't mean that it's for kids.
karagarren 8
it was on On Demand. meaning they get to watch it when they want
PancakesEqualLov 0
family guy, south park, and futurama should be proof that not all cartoons are for kids even though I dd watch them as a kid.
KaylieBieber13 0
make him watch South Park!!!!
BIEBERSLAYER 10
it's better than watching Justin bieber's movie the kids eyes would fall out
jewfro311 0
163 Your username makes the comment even better! XD
CryMoreFMLs 15
Oh god the beliebers are coming to FML.