Today, my boyfriend showed me his bucket list. Normal bucket lists are beautiful, full of sweet things like, "See Paris with my wife" or, "Learn to play the piano". His was all childish destructive bullshit like, "Throw dynamite out of a car window" or, "Get my ass eaten out." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I got so bored, I made a "to do" list for the week in my head. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to be totally honest with each other. We even told some of our deepest, darkest secrets, in hopes of strengthening our relationship. He told me he had a diaper fetish, and would love to see me in one. There goes my sex life. FML
Today, I visited my boyfriend's house excited about the romantic night he promised me. As time passed, we started making out and heading up to his room. Rose petals and candles filled his room. "How romantic", I thought. That is, until we saw his 5 year old sister blowing up condom balloons. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend ate glitter. When I asked him why he would do such an insane thing, he replied, "I wanted my jizz to sparkle." FML
Today, I found one of those realistic, expensive sex dolls in my boyfriend's cupboard. I asked why on earth he had that and apparently it’s for all those filthy, violent sexual things he likes to do, but knows most women would never even agree to try. Um, WHAT? FML
Today, my funny, handsome, intelligent, caring, all around awesome boyfriend and I broke up. He introduced me to his fetish and wanted me to participate. His fetish? Dressing, talking, and acting like a baby. He wanted us to both wear diapers and pretend to be babies together. Fuck that noise. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me if I had any kinks, so I told him all about them. He was actually mad because I didn't have the same 'sexy kinks' the girls in porn have. FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me a poem saying "Roses are red, violets are blue, rubbish is dumped and so are you." FML
Today, my husband drunkenly confessed that he has a shit fetish and wants to watch me take a dump in the bathtub while he jerks off. Guess him saying he "didn't like kinky things" was a lie, then. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was making a list of things to do tomorrow while faking an orgasm when I realize my boyfriend had finished about two minutes ago. He's pissed. FML
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Top comments
Marie_88 1
well start eating……
Chazzster 32
To be honest I don’t believe in bucket lists. But regardless of that, everyone is entitled to their own fantasies and shouldn’t have to pretty them up to please a partner or spouse.
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Comments (4)
Marie_88 1
well start eating……
Chazzster 32
To be honest I don’t believe in bucket lists. But regardless of that, everyone is entitled to their own fantasies and shouldn’t have to pretty them up to please a partner or spouse.
Wadlaen 24
On the bright side, at least they are obtainable...
GoogieWithers 25
So more of a fückit list?