Today, I was working at the local liquor store. An obviously drunk girl stumbles in, grabs two cases of beer and puts them on the counter. Then she grabs a pregnancy test, pees on it right there, shows me, and says, "I'm not pregnant, I want beer." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to buy beer underage for a party to impress a girl. I picked up the case of beer and went to the cashier, he ran it through without asking for ID. I left the store with a smirk on my face, I arrived at the party and showed the case to the girl. It was non-alcoholic. FML
Today, working in a liquor store, I had to tell a girl I couldn't sell her alcohol since she was severely intoxicated. She told me to "cash me ousside, how bow dat?" then smashed a bottle of wine and left. FML
Today, a really drunk couple staggered into the store I work at. One of them yelled at me, "Hey you! Kid! Tell us where the booze is at!" This would have been funny if these people weren't my parents. FML
Today, I was working in my store. Right around closing, a lady came in to try some things on. I went to the back and when I came out, she was standing in the middle of the room with fluid coming from between her legs. I asked her if she was going into labor. She wasn't. She was peeing. FML
Today, I was working in my store. Right around closing, a lady came in to try some things on. I went to the back and when I came out, she was standing in the middle of the room with fluid coming from between her legs. I asked her if she was going into labor. She wasn't. She was peeing. FML
Today, the girl who works at the liquor store came to where I work. She recognized me. FML
Today, an intoxicated gentleman stumbled into my shop requesting alcohol, which I do not sell. When I informed him of this, he expressed his disappointment by urinating on the floor. FML
Today, when I went to the gas station to buy beer, some underage punk outside asked me to buy him booze. I told him to get bent, but the dumbass cashier had seen me talking to him, and refused to let me buy alcohol because, "This is obviously a sting." FML
Today, I walked into a liquor store and thought about inquiring for a job application. After seeing the cashier, I thought about inquiring if she was single. After accidentally breaking three bottles of liquor, I didn't do either. I left the store, still single and unemployed. FML
Today, a cute thirty-ish chick walked into the bar I work in. I asked her for her license to make her feel young. She didn't have her license on her and started yelling about how stupid it was to even ask, when she obviously was old enough to drink. She then got up and left. FML
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Top comments
dessaye 19
Good, people like her shouldn't be reproducing.
nate_msm 0
Maybe she was drowsing her sorrows because the school nurse thinks she is fat and stupid.
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Comments (111)
old09 11
Did you say "Thank God you're not" And then charge them double?
HotPotat0 8
Hahahahaha good one!
theevilduchess 12
Girls just want to have fun... And drunken sex. Lots and lots of drunken sex.
1crabbygirl 10
Apparently the pregnancy test girl peed on some FML lovers' pop tarts as well. I think this story should be a scene in a *movie*
luvscomplic8ed 6
Tis' true :)
Faqtha 0
I would have made her clean that up with her mouth. That's wrong on so many levels. If u cleaned it when she left, fyl !
rinzlerkitty94 31
You are a disgusting person. Please don't reproduce either.
leogirl95 12
I'm pretty sure you've encountered plenty of strange cases working at a liquor store, eh?
trucker67 10
Obviously a high class redneck kind of woman who lives In a trailer with billy bob and probably bubba too .
beastiness 14
Hey don't hate on rednecks, we're not all a bunch of drunk idiots
may651 14
Just cause he lives in Texas, really? Become educated.
KiddNYC1O 22
For real, listen to #74... Edumacate yourself!
florido_fml 10
I wish I was you op because that was just awesome!
Theactuary 0
Wouldn't have been a problem if you were in the kitchen wear you belong
VasilisaUzhasnaj 29
Drinking and ******* do tend to go hand in hand!
rubberduckie94 13
My question exactly. I do not think I have ever saw that.
PizzaWizard 13
I am guessing that she already had the pregnancy test when she went into the liquor store.
MerrikBarbarian 9
This is what I was wondering when I saw this. Though actually come to think of it... Mine does. I live in a small town so the pharmacy and liquor mart are the same shop. The next town over you buy liquor at the grocers. Going to guess op lives in a very small town (ie 1000 people or less) like I do.
alexup24 13
Decent
FlutterShyy 0
Liquor stores sell pregnancy tests?!?...
tnlander 20
That's exactly what I was thinking. WTF??
smydiwannafthata 5
She got a point.
rattusrattus 19
... shame she missed all the others.