Today, I was working at the local liquor store. An obviously drunk girl stumbles in, grabs two cases of beer and puts them on the counter. Then she grabs a pregnancy test, pees on it right there, shows me, and says, "I'm not pregnant, I want beer." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to buy beer underage for a party to impress a girl. I picked up the case of beer and went to the cashier, he ran it through without asking for ID. I left the store with a smirk on my face, I arrived at the party and showed the case to the girl. It was non-alcoholic. FML
Today, working in a liquor store, I had to tell a girl I couldn't sell her alcohol since she was severely intoxicated. She told me to "cash me ousside, how bow dat?" then smashed a bottle of wine and left. FML
Today, a really drunk couple staggered into the store I work at. One of them yelled at me, "Hey you! Kid! Tell us where the booze is at!" This would have been funny if these people weren't my parents. FML
Today, I was working in my store. Right around closing, a lady came in to try some things on. I went to the back and when I came out, she was standing in the middle of the room with fluid coming from between her legs. I asked her if she was going into labor. She wasn't. She was peeing. FML
Today, I was working in my store. Right around closing, a lady came in to try some things on. I went to the back and when I came out, she was standing in the middle of the room with fluid coming from between her legs. I asked her if she was going into labor. She wasn't. She was peeing. FML
Today, the girl who works at the liquor store came to where I work. She recognized me. FML
Today, an intoxicated gentleman stumbled into my shop requesting alcohol, which I do not sell. When I informed him of this, he expressed his disappointment by urinating on the floor. FML
Today, when I went to the gas station to buy beer, some underage punk outside asked me to buy him booze. I told him to get bent, but the dumbass cashier had seen me talking to him, and refused to let me buy alcohol because, "This is obviously a sting." FML
Today, I walked into a liquor store and thought about inquiring for a job application. After seeing the cashier, I thought about inquiring if she was single. After accidentally breaking three bottles of liquor, I didn't do either. I left the store, still single and unemployed. FML
Today, a cute thirty-ish chick walked into the bar I work in. I asked her for her license to make her feel young. She didn't have her license on her and started yelling about how stupid it was to even ask, when she obviously was old enough to drink. She then got up and left. FML
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Top comments
dessaye 19
Good, people like her shouldn't be reproducing.
nate_msm 0
Maybe she was drowsing her sorrows because the school nurse thinks she is fat and stupid.
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Comments (111)
combatbunny 9
You sell pregnancy tests at the liquor store?
mrsmueller 7
Was it Snookie??! What the crap....
Ivette88 7
The trashy version of Juno. Lol priceless.
bfsd42 20
As I was reading this fml, I was thinking Texas. And what do you know? I was right.
ejjamael 5
I think I fell in love...
final_rest 3
This isn't an fml. This is going to be an awesome story to tell your kids in the future.
desertpunk75 11
"I'm not pregnant.".....was she having sex then suddenly fancied a beer?
retyi43 14
there is no excuse for this kind of behavior.
MaryPoppins88 14
Classy
obeliks 4
So everytime time someone says this is bull, its moderated, but its okay to say **** your life???