Today, I got a spray tan for the first time. Naked, I climbed into the booth. When the machine started I became frightened by the loud roar of the spray and couldn't breathe. I pissed myself out of fear. I now have river-like streaks down both legs where the pee washed my tan away. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to get my spray tan before my semi-formal. After I applied lotion to the bottom of my feet as instructed, I went in the booth and began to start the tanning session. I lost my balance and fell right as the machine began to spray. I look like a spotted cheetah. FML
Today, I decided to spray tan myself. Five minutes later, I had to pee, so I did. Not only do I now have two orange stripes on my toilet bowl, but I also have two big white stripes on the back of my thighs. FML
Today, I used the tanning booth for the first time. Not only was I so white that I received first-degree burns all over my body, but I also forgot to remove my knee-high socks. FML
Today, while working at my tanning salon, a woman came in and I put her in a booth, which are all stand up. After she comes out, I go in to clean it and realize that floor is all wet. I questioned her about it and she replies, "Oh, I peed, that's not a drain?". FML
Today, I was getting ready for the school swimming carnival and was running very late. I reached for my deodorant and sprayed it on. It was only when I was at the pool that I realized I had accidentally grabbed the spray tan and covered my underarms in it. FML
Today, I used a tanning bed for the first time ever, in an attempt to get a base tan for the summer. No one bothered to warn me that you shouldn't go the full ten minutes your first time. Now my skin is as red as my hair. FML
Today, my sister thought it would be funny to spray my face with my new tanning spray, which is only supposed to be used on arms and legs. I woke up and looked in the mirror to see an orange blotchy face staring back at me. My parents can't look at me without laughing. FML
Today, my girlfriend talked me into tanning in a tanning bed for the first time ever. I have never tanned before and didn't know you are supposed to ease into it. I tanned for 15 minutes in the "super bed" and have lobstered. My ass and nuts got the worst of it. FML
Today, I went to the tanning bed. I laid down in the bed and turned it on and the fan started blowing. There was a terrible smell and I thought it was the person before me. Then I realized it was just the fan blowing my sweaty feet towards my face. FML
Today, I decided to try a self-tanning lotion my friend had recommended. I put it on, and decided to take a nap. I woke up later and checked myself in the mirror, expecting to see a new, more tanned version of myself. I didn't. I'm now orange. FML
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Top comments
peach_fml 0
No offense, but how much of a whimp can you be? You know it's the spray tan...yet you're still so scared you pee yourself. YDI
Audio828 2
Oh poor guys that had to clean up that mess.
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Comments (289)
AntiChrist7 0
don't forget the cancer you got now. YDI
nazooer 11
You retarded? "I was scared of a spray tan so i peed myself" Wow grow the **** up What are you like 10?
trilliamme 0
I actually laughed out loud at this one. Wow, you're a wimp. I didn't know people actually did that.
Juicy_Jen 0
My DOG pees out of fear..... ive been in a spray tan a million times i just dont understand how you can pee out of fear in a spray tan.... its a SPRAY TAN!
Treehugger 0
this is why ppl shouldnt get a fake tan....
pinion_fml 0
haha you insecure barbie doll, that's what you get for conforming to society's view on beauty, quit trying so hard
KEVINPASH 0
Wow, just wow.
Dreamcatcher87 0
What the hell is wrong with all you people suggesting that we all go cook ourselves in the sun?! That nice brown colour is actually a result of your skin being damaged. There's nothing healthy about a natural tan. And for those of you who said "Oh, I've spent the past x amount of summers tanning naturally and I'm fine" ... that's like saying smoking 40 cigarettes a day is perfectly healthy because you've "smoked for years and haven't gotten cancer yet". If you want to tan naturally that's your choice - just don't try and convince us all that it's not unhealthy - even with sunscreen. FAKE DON'T BAKE! Just try not to piss yourselves in doing so.
PaigeCPony 0
I agree with #91. There's nothing wrong with wanting to look tan. Everyone does things to improve their appearance, so harping on someone for wanting to achieve a tan the *healthy* way is pretty dumb. #89, you don't know she was doing it to "conform". I use a fake tan lotion because I simply look better that way. Do you cut your hair ever? If so, you're a hypocrite.
Broc 0
Maybe go to an actual tanning booth? It's getting warm weather now too, so you could go tan for real if you wanted...