Today, I got a spray tan for the first time. Naked, I climbed into the booth. When the machine started I became frightened by the loud roar of the spray and couldn't breathe. I pissed myself out of fear. I now have river-like streaks down both legs where the pee washed my tan away. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to get my spray tan before my semi-formal. After I applied lotion to the bottom of my feet as instructed, I went in the booth and began to start the tanning session. I lost my balance and fell right as the machine began to spray. I look like a spotted cheetah. FML
Today, I decided to spray tan myself. Five minutes later, I had to pee, so I did. Not only do I now have two orange stripes on my toilet bowl, but I also have two big white stripes on the back of my thighs. FML
Today, I used the tanning booth for the first time. Not only was I so white that I received first-degree burns all over my body, but I also forgot to remove my knee-high socks. FML
Today, while working at my tanning salon, a woman came in and I put her in a booth, which are all stand up. After she comes out, I go in to clean it and realize that floor is all wet. I questioned her about it and she replies, "Oh, I peed, that's not a drain?". FML
Today, I was getting ready for the school swimming carnival and was running very late. I reached for my deodorant and sprayed it on. It was only when I was at the pool that I realized I had accidentally grabbed the spray tan and covered my underarms in it. FML
Today, I used a tanning bed for the first time ever, in an attempt to get a base tan for the summer. No one bothered to warn me that you shouldn't go the full ten minutes your first time. Now my skin is as red as my hair. FML
Today, my sister thought it would be funny to spray my face with my new tanning spray, which is only supposed to be used on arms and legs. I woke up and looked in the mirror to see an orange blotchy face staring back at me. My parents can't look at me without laughing. FML
Today, my girlfriend talked me into tanning in a tanning bed for the first time ever. I have never tanned before and didn't know you are supposed to ease into it. I tanned for 15 minutes in the "super bed" and have lobstered. My ass and nuts got the worst of it. FML
Today, I went to the tanning bed. I laid down in the bed and turned it on and the fan started blowing. There was a terrible smell and I thought it was the person before me. Then I realized it was just the fan blowing my sweaty feet towards my face. FML
Today, I decided to try a self-tanning lotion my friend had recommended. I put it on, and decided to take a nap. I woke up later and checked myself in the mirror, expecting to see a new, more tanned version of myself. I didn't. I'm now orange. FML
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Top comments
peach_fml 0
No offense, but how much of a whimp can you be? You know it's the spray tan...yet you're still so scared you pee yourself. YDI
Audio828 2
Oh poor guys that had to clean up that mess.
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Comments (289)
notmuch 0
It's ok hun. Just tell your Mommy you don't want to be on the next episode of "Toddlers and Tiaras" and she might stop forcing you to get those spray tans.
jjjeah 0
All I have to say about tanning is that I hate when I see really fair people get a spray-on tan. They end up looking really unnatural. It is NOT attractive.
Chaith 16
This is the only FML in a long while that made me "Awwww."
Wildcard 0
haahahahhahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahhaha
epic_phail 0
I will admit, loud noises wil startle me. I don't like them (funny cause I like guns) But seriously... Seriously... piss yourself from a noise??? what in the world.
secretish 0
haha @ the chihuahua comment (#13). I hate chihuahua's.
eighthchord 0
That's kind of weird that you'd wet yourself over a loud noise. PTSD? For all of you saying "just go outside in the sun", you are uninformed and giving bad health advice. Whether it's in a tanning bed or outside under the sun, you'll likely get skin cancer or look like a leather bag when you're 35. Those spray tans don't even look fake if you only use them once a week. You only start looking orange after you do it 2 or 3 times in a row. And it doesn't matter for how long you lay out; the risk is higher and the longer you do it the higher the risk gets. Our skin is not made to roast like a turkey's (which is what is happening when you tan out in the sun or in a bed). Just because the sun is "natural" doesn't mean it's good for you.
Daysgoby 0
I agree with #42 because she showers before she eats pickles :-D
RPGod 0
I think you shouldn't have gone there if you knew that you were claustrophobic
Smi 0
I've never been so scared that I've come even remotely close to pissing myself. And I've had my fair share of near-death experiences. You're the biggest pussy ever. YDI. As for whoever had to go in after you, FTL.