Today, I decided to put on some sexy lingerie and wait for my husband to come home to surprise him. He took one look at me and immediately accused me of cheating. He was convinced my explanation was a lie and that I'd rushed some guy out the back door when he came home. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I wanted to surprise my boyfriend by dressing up in sexy lingerie. When I went to answer the door he was standing there with a shocked expression, his friends parked in the driveway had the same expression as well. He came to break up with me. He told me after we had sex. FML
Today, I tried to surprise my husband by wearing something sexy to bed. He didn't say anything, just laughed and left the room for 10 minutes. The little confidence I had disappeared, so I changed, feeling stupid for thinking I could pull off sexy. He got mad at me for being confusing. FML
Today, I dressed cute to surprise my boyfriend of 2 years. Instead of being happy or impressed about it, he accused me of cheating and dressing up to impress a new guy he'd made up in his head. FML
Today, I left the house for a while and when I came back my husband was wearing my lacy lingerie. He looks better in it than I do. FML
Today, while heading to the bathroom, I saw my girlfriend putting some lingerie under my bed. I stupidly thought it was for some sexy time later. Well, later on, she dramatically "found" the lingerie and broke up with me. Almost everyone believes her story and thinks I'm a dirty cheater. FML
Today, I decided to go home and apologise to my husband for accusing him of having an affair. I came home to find him having sex with my mother. FML
Today, I put on some sexy lingerie, ready to have some fun with my husband. I found him in the living room, opening a bag of Doritos in front of the TV. He saw me and understood. Then he looked back at the Doritos, then back at me and said gravely, "No way, babe. No way." FML
Today, I felt like spicing up our marriage, so I thought I'd surprise my husband when he got home from work. I put on my sexiest teddy, lit some candles, and laid on the bed. He walked in the room, looked at me for a second, farted, then asked me what was for dinner. FML
Today, when I came home, my girlfriend was in sexy lingerie, and said it was a surprise for me. Sounds awesome, right? Too bad she was drenched in sweat and the room smelled like sex. I looked in the closet, only to get punched in the face by a naked guy. FML
Today, I tried to surprise my husband because our sex life is lacking. We have planned sex Tuesday night, every week, with the lights off. When he came home for lunch, I was naked and waiting for him. He took one look and said, "I forgot you looked like that. Meh, I'm going back to work." FML
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Top comments
Madness829 9
He should have trust in you. So FYL.
gracehi 33
Why would you want to have sex with your own husband? So weird. No wonder he was suspicious.
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Comments (87)
militarybrat 21
I would go to counseling if he is THAT distrustful.
verysmarmy 11
There can be no sex Until you're my ex.
kristergirl 13
eh, his loss
Tidus0 17
Unless he's been guilty of cheating and is accusing you so he doesn't look so bad?
Witchylady 18
Next time just wear your flannels.
Parvati48 15
Sounds like someone is guilty of something and is trying to take the blame off of himself. I'm sorry your husband seems to have trust issues OP, hopefully you get this sorted out. Good luck! :)
Abhinow 7
upfront your hubby seems a douchebag. but it may be that he had never seen your this side and couldn't relate it as normal in that case FYL for being a Puritan so far
Rmunhoz 1
Next time, you'd be better wait for him to show up and, while he's taking a bath or something, you put the lingerie and do that surprise
xXAlorraXx 11
maybe he's cheating and accusing you because he would think that you would do the same
ElyseMoon420 9
My husband would have done the same thing ... They never do well with surprises.