Today, I woke up this morning in a panic. Last night, I heard scratching at my door, but I thought it was just my cat and went back to sleep. This morning, it hit me that my cat is 600 miles away, living with my mom in Iowa. I'm terrified to even sleep now. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I'm moving. While packing, I realized I hadn't seen my cat in a few hours. I called her and realized she was inside one of the hundreds of boxes in my house. I accidentally packed my cat. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom and I noticed the balcony door was open. As I went to go close it, I swear I saw my cat wondering outside and I panicked. Long story short, I locked myself out searching for the cat and the next thing I knew, he was meowing at me from the balcony a few feet above me. FML
Today, I woke up to my disabled mother screaming for me. Fearing the worst, I hopped out of bed only to find that she was yelling because her cat had brought a field mouse inside as a gift. The problem? It was still alive. I had to get it from him and throw it outside. FML
Today, after moving into my new house, I woke up to strange sounds coming from the kitchen. I panicked and started sobbing, convinced it was either a robbery or a home invasion. Turned out it was just my cat. FML
Today, I woke up, got dressed, and left for the 1 hour drive to the nearest vet. When I arrived, I realized that I left my cat in its carrier on my kitchen counter. FML
Today, I know there's something wrong with my cat when his meowing starts to sound really weird. But just now, his meow has gotten so unusual that he actually scared the shit out of me. I thought it was an entirely different cat that got into my house before I looked back. Yeah, he's going to the vet. FML
Today, I made my way to bed around 4am after spending all night hanging out with my family. When I got to my bed, I started to clear a spot to lay down. Almost immediately, my hand touched something furry and cold and, fearing the worst, I turned the light on. Turns out my cat left me a half eaten rodent. FML
Today, I closed my bedroom door before I went to work this morning so my cat wouldn't chew on the cords in there. When I got back, I couldn't find my other cat anywhere. I went to my bedroom and heard her yelling. She was in there, stuck there all morning and afternoon. Oops. FML
Today, while traveling with my cat, I had a mini-freakout when I realized that I left his favorite toy in the hotel room. I'm a 30-year-old man. FML
Today, someone (probably my ex) released a bunch of cats into my house. I’m pants-shittingly, deathly afraid of cats. Animal control can’t guarantee that they caught them all because they have no way of knowing how many were in there in the first place. I’m too terrified to be at home now. FML
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Top comments
cutycat136 28
Burn it down. Burn it down now. Get out of there now while you still can. Get on a plane and as far away from there as possible. Don't look back. Don't bring anything with you, no time. Get a priest there asap to cleanse the land to be safe. It's time for a new life. It has already been too late for some. It all starts when that first scratch is heard. Maybe you can be saved. It's still early.
casey_ct 10
who you gonna call?...but on a serious note thats f'ed up
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Comments (122)
kred 21
It's probably another cat, or satan.
StreetlightM 9
Are you suggesting that cats are not satan?
Wakachulak 22
It's a racoon, scardypants.
Arwen_Evenstar 37
Or she dreamt it and didn't realise it was a dream.
randome101 12
One of those cats from hell.
MattChristensen 14
So, all cats?
redneck66 11
in my experience, all cats are satan.
SPFINATOR1993 10
Satan. Definitely satan.
cutycat136 28
Burn it down. Burn it down now. Get out of there now while you still can. Get on a plane and as far away from there as possible. Don't look back. Don't bring anything with you, no time. Get a priest there asap to cleanse the land to be safe. It's time for a new life. It has already been too late for some. It all starts when that first scratch is heard. Maybe you can be saved. It's still early.
cutycat136 28
#11 haha wow I never noticed XD Ah well, still gonna go with it
psychopolarbear 28
I bet it was a spider. That kind of malicious scratching in the middle of the night could only be one of those little arachnid abominations.
Adeptus_Astartes 22
#16 What kind of spiders do you have? 0_0
psychopolarbear 28
Where I live there are lots of black widows and brown recluses, but I don't doubt the existence of some crazy demon-spider. Stranger things have happened.
teazyfisher 15
#52 where you live must be real scary... how do you survive?
MitchTheLizard 5
How do you sleep at night?
MCyHiM 10
#52 that sounds a lot where I live! I'm just glad I don't live in Florida
TallMist 32
I live in Florida. ;_;
woainishamu 21
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Don't be a pussy.
ameliaruth09 15
"pussy's" are one of the strongest most durable parts of the anatomy... I would know. I've had a kid. so technically it's a compliment.
randomgamer1 7
Actually, common misconception: pussy is short for pusillanimous, and has nothing to do with femininity.
saidaswear 20
It means "timid" or "cowardly".
Flyndaran 10
Also common myth. Pussy was originally a word for cat which became connected to the hairy vulva. It is not an abbreviation.
Mmmsushi 14
I learned something today on FML, thank you #44
Ladybug1992 7
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I would go get my cat, or another animal, they can see things like that...
mentallizzard 19
what a great idea! op can get his cat to find whatever it was that was scratching at his door then describe in fine detail what it was so op can know what probably want to rip his face off and he can sleep more comfortably at night. -_-
BlobfishUnite 14
Ahem...
redneck66 11
i just died XD
notsoanonymous3 20
Run... run far, far away...!
katydid91 31
"And never return." Said Scar.
casey_ct 10
who you gonna call?...but on a serious note thats f'ed up
Frechy 24
The Winchesters!!!
candyolympics 17
An exorcist!
casey_ct 10
why is it that when i read the first comment i think of peter griffin singing it?
laurenswims13 24
Dun dun dun...I mean it's only like that could be some serial killer or something
redstone7693 29
Set up some cameras if you're willing to take it that far
Morning_fml 22
And then OP could make the new Paranormal Activity movie.
FluffyPandas156 13
hopefully they're better than the last 4
RMLrapemylife 14
Sacrifice a kitten for Lucifer in order to protect yourself from the evil herewith..
Epickitty58 29
Am I seriously the only person here who watches supernatural and understood that reference?
pizzzah 9
thats not even a supernatural reference
kittykat1501 31
You are a sick person!!!!
Beealicious 13
It's probably the boogie man.