Today, I decided to put on some sexy lingerie and wait for my husband to come home to surprise him. He took one look at me and immediately accused me of cheating. He was convinced my explanation was a lie and that I'd rushed some guy out the back door when he came home. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I wanted to surprise my boyfriend by dressing up in sexy lingerie. When I went to answer the door he was standing there with a shocked expression, his friends parked in the driveway had the same expression as well. He came to break up with me. He told me after we had sex. FML
Today, I tried to surprise my husband by wearing something sexy to bed. He didn't say anything, just laughed and left the room for 10 minutes. The little confidence I had disappeared, so I changed, feeling stupid for thinking I could pull off sexy. He got mad at me for being confusing. FML
Today, I dressed cute to surprise my boyfriend of 2 years. Instead of being happy or impressed about it, he accused me of cheating and dressing up to impress a new guy he'd made up in his head. FML
Today, I left the house for a while and when I came back my husband was wearing my lacy lingerie. He looks better in it than I do. FML
Today, while heading to the bathroom, I saw my girlfriend putting some lingerie under my bed. I stupidly thought it was for some sexy time later. Well, later on, she dramatically "found" the lingerie and broke up with me. Almost everyone believes her story and thinks I'm a dirty cheater. FML
Today, I decided to go home and apologise to my husband for accusing him of having an affair. I came home to find him having sex with my mother. FML
Today, I put on some sexy lingerie, ready to have some fun with my husband. I found him in the living room, opening a bag of Doritos in front of the TV. He saw me and understood. Then he looked back at the Doritos, then back at me and said gravely, "No way, babe. No way." FML
Today, I felt like spicing up our marriage, so I thought I'd surprise my husband when he got home from work. I put on my sexiest teddy, lit some candles, and laid on the bed. He walked in the room, looked at me for a second, farted, then asked me what was for dinner. FML
Today, when I came home, my girlfriend was in sexy lingerie, and said it was a surprise for me. Sounds awesome, right? Too bad she was drenched in sweat and the room smelled like sex. I looked in the closet, only to get punched in the face by a naked guy. FML
Today, I tried to surprise my husband because our sex life is lacking. We have planned sex Tuesday night, every week, with the lights off. When he came home for lunch, I was naked and waiting for him. He took one look and said, "I forgot you looked like that. Meh, I'm going back to work." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Madness829 9
He should have trust in you. So FYL.
gracehi 33
Why would you want to have sex with your own husband? So weird. No wonder he was suspicious.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (87)
toongler 23
I understand being cautious, but if he's jumping to conclusions like that it doesn't sound like a good relationship
AirBusDriver 23
Didn't see that coming...
WattledParsley 11
Didn't see anyone cuming either.
arstef90 5
If this is a one time thing, I would write it off for now. But if this is part of a pattern of accusations and distrust, you can be pretty sure that he's cheating on you. Keep your ears up.
Rmunhoz 1
I thought the same thing Be careful, he might be cheating on you
TallMist 32
Why does everyone assume that if the man accuses the woman of cheating, it's really the guy that's cheating? Does no one realize that that is sexist?
1dvs_bstd 41
There are so many factors.. maybe he's having a guilty conscience?
militarybrat 21
Quite true. Ive heard if a spouse accuses you (general) of cheating with no basis on it, it usually means they are the ones cheating.
Jake42100 17
You caught him off gaurd lmao,But sorry yea thats gotta suck...
lazyslumber 18
Well both of you managed to surprise each other! One with the act the other with the thought.
hammonds92 21
That sucks op. Try talking to him again if he really loves you he will believe you
IWishIWasObama 12
He was mad because he rubbed one out at work right before he came home.
Sonotsuave 37
😂
tehdarkness 21
Well there are clearly trust issues that need to be worked through! Good luck!
Kitti_the_Killer 8
If you ask me. He seems to want to accuse you. Maybe he is the one cheating.