Today, I saw a long black hair coming out of the drain. Thinking it was my sister's, I called her in and pulled it out for her to see, only to realize I was actually pulling out a long brown roach by the antenna. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, as I was changing my sheets, I found a huge spider under my pillow. My 10 year-old sister had to get rid of it for me. FML
Today, I looked into my sink's garbage disposal for the first time since I moved in two months ago. Apparently, the putrid smell was not the food I've been throwing down it, but instead, a now what appears to be mutilated litter of rats. FML
Today, I called a pest control company to ask them to come over to my place to help get rid of rats. The person on the phone told me to "be a man and stop acting like a girl". I'm a woman. FML
Today, I pulled one of my favorite hoodies out of my closet, and immediately noticed several large stains on it. Apparently, my dad had managed to open a hole in the roof and couldn't be bothered to patch it, so a squirrel got in and used my closet as a litter box. FML
Today, I realized I can tell which one of my 6 roommates has taken a dump, just based on the smell emanating from the toilet. FML
Today, I was teasing my cat with a piece of string when suddenly my phone rang. I answered it with one hand and put the string down with the other onto my lap. The beast seized the opportunity to spring, claws out, onto my privates. FML
Today, I was talking with a very attractive coworker outside when a moth flew into my ear. I started screaming and hitting my ear because it was stuck and alive in my ear. I spent the rest of the day at the ER. I'm forever known as The Moth Lady. FML
Today, my mom confessed to me that she used to pluck my step-dad's butt hair. I hope the brain-gods delete this obnoxious mental picture. FML
Today, I was getting ready for a date when I noticed a spot on my chin. To get rid of it, I applied my sister's spot cream rather than picking it off. Within minutes, my entire chin looked like a swollen tomato. FML
Today, for the first time in about 3 years, I decided to clean my car. It was going really well until I looked down at what I was about to pick up. On the back seat floor lay a dead snake, which at one point, for God knows how long, was living in my car while I unknowingly drove it around. FML
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Top comments
Kromcakes 9
Oh that's nasty.
Bloodcalibur 13
Time to burn down the house. No other options.
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Comments (53)
notsoanonymous3 20
It's just one ******* hair! who cares?!!
I_eat_hearts17 9
Being brother and sister I bet it was an on going war of her denying that any of her hair goes down the drain. Funny enough the exact argument happened between my siblings before too! :-)
LunaaBluee 27
Porous le falta! Porque le falta!
kumarina 35
La cucaracha, la cucaracha, enchilada, blah, blah, blah
UlondaRoshelle 3
I would ****** die!!!!
elcee1987 18
Aaaaagh!! The good news is, I enjoyed this Fml. The bad news is, you have roaches! Sorry man, that really sucks. If I were the sister watching though, I would have laughed.
Artemishuntress 8
you nasty bet you weren't expecting that
Tegz0rz 12
You were gonna confront your sister over one measly strand of hair? You must be fun to live with.
mrd1997 19
I've had this happen before, but it was a spider instead of a **** roach. Let's just say, I now turn on the shower and aim it at the drain for a good minute before showering. You never know what you're gonna find down there.
siggy_mcsigx 22
rafjghfdjgjshkfjhjdkg water waste
dustin007 15
Runn Forrest runnn
jdcg116 10
Old fashioned remedy. Mothballs. Under the sinks, w/d area. One under the stove and fridge. Been doing it for 20 years and all i get is a fly or a spider now and then. In the your clothes closets. Cedar wood blocks.