Today, I saw a long black hair coming out of the drain. Thinking it was my sister's, I called her in and pulled it out for her to see, only to realize I was actually pulling out a long brown roach by the antenna. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, as I was changing my sheets, I found a huge spider under my pillow. My 10 year-old sister had to get rid of it for me. FML
Today, I looked into my sink's garbage disposal for the first time since I moved in two months ago. Apparently, the putrid smell was not the food I've been throwing down it, but instead, a now what appears to be mutilated litter of rats. FML
Today, I called a pest control company to ask them to come over to my place to help get rid of rats. The person on the phone told me to "be a man and stop acting like a girl". I'm a woman. FML
Today, I pulled one of my favorite hoodies out of my closet, and immediately noticed several large stains on it. Apparently, my dad had managed to open a hole in the roof and couldn't be bothered to patch it, so a squirrel got in and used my closet as a litter box. FML
Today, I realized I can tell which one of my 6 roommates has taken a dump, just based on the smell emanating from the toilet. FML
Today, I was teasing my cat with a piece of string when suddenly my phone rang. I answered it with one hand and put the string down with the other onto my lap. The beast seized the opportunity to spring, claws out, onto my privates. FML
Today, I was talking with a very attractive coworker outside when a moth flew into my ear. I started screaming and hitting my ear because it was stuck and alive in my ear. I spent the rest of the day at the ER. I'm forever known as The Moth Lady. FML
Today, my mom confessed to me that she used to pluck my step-dad's butt hair. I hope the brain-gods delete this obnoxious mental picture. FML
Today, I was getting ready for a date when I noticed a spot on my chin. To get rid of it, I applied my sister's spot cream rather than picking it off. Within minutes, my entire chin looked like a swollen tomato. FML
Today, for the first time in about 3 years, I decided to clean my car. It was going really well until I looked down at what I was about to pick up. On the back seat floor lay a dead snake, which at one point, for God knows how long, was living in my car while I unknowingly drove it around. FML
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Top comments
Kromcakes 9
Oh that's nasty.
Bloodcalibur 13
Time to burn down the house. No other options.
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Comments (53)
demonfacee 14
Shit, that's scary and I hope it didn't come from your sister.
rivaraven 35
Why would you pull the hair back up? It's not like your sister would put it back in her hair, if it were her hair. Just wash the hair down.
turdoblast 21
hair is one of the main reasons for drain blockage, i think op might have been wanting to put it in the bin but just wanted to show their sister first that they were doing them a favour or something! ☺️
elcee1987 18
You must have short hair. It's a different life for people with long hair. A different life.
teresa96706 29
@17 Exactly what I don't understand either! My 3 sisters and I have very long hair, if there were a hair just randomly rising out of the drain, we'd probably just run the water and force it to go back down. We usually actually wait for the clog to happen, to take out all the hair at once. We been doing this for over a decade. No harm done.
Gubbon 17
To the last commenter: The clog can also happen further down, so this is not advisable.
silvercamaro 22
Who freaked out more; you or your sister?
Mindset 11
Almost threw up after reading this....your life will never be the same
worldclassrager 41
Next time just turn on the water
Emzinatorbot 26
Thanks for putting that image into my head! I feel bad for you OP. Fyl!!
teapotrevolt 27
HONEY?! ITS TIME TO BURNTHEHOUSEDOWN.
vikky538 29
disgusting...
DenverTyrrell 13
Eww you made me shiver reading that :S
Katthebamf 29
My eyes went from -_- to O_O in half a second flat